Just before midnight, Friday night.
Yes, it is the long awaited PORN REVIEW!
This week: "Be Gentle, It's My First Time".
I picked it up because I thought maybe, just maybe, some porn actors could act, because obviously it's not their first time, or so I assumed.
3 scenes, 3 girls, regular boy on girl action.
It's pretty vanilla sex, although the first girl does some pretty raunchy things - things I will be getting into later.
But getting back to the whole notion of "my first time", watching, all three girls start of in a "sexy" pose, does a little "sexy" dance, and strips. The dancing was so bad, that I could at least believe that it certainly their first time doing the erotic dance.
So they can't dance. It doesn't ruin a porn, does it?
Well this is why about 95% of porn dialogue should be scrapped. It's crap. The girls have one line, and somehow by uttering it, they utterly ruin the porn.
It began with the first girl. After doing her erotic "dance", she begins sucking off her partner. After a few minutes of that, he throws her down, strips her, and then she looks straight into the camera and says, "be gentle, it's my first time."
Oh fucking dear god.
The other two girls do it too.
I didn't realize how a single line could simply ruin a porn experience. But their delivery was so awful, so staged and so unbelievable that I was so soured.
It's not as though I belived them for a second, but the title of the movie could have just been bullshit and the girls could have remained quiet - it would have been a decent porn. But the fact that the first girl gets fucked in the ass, screams "I LOVE getting fucked in the ass" not ten minutes after she asks to be treated gently is just weak. It's called editing people. Do it.
Also, getting fucked int he ass, licking/sucking the dick, and putting it back without camera cuts or angle changes or even WASHING is just gross. I don't care how gross or sticky the lube got, add more, dont' moisturize with your mouth.
It's clearly an amateaur film, but I've seen amateur films surpass "professional films" in content and turn-on factor.
While I've had my fill of the turn-on factor, the perplexing factor (why give the plastic penis a blow job?) and the distracting factor (porn actors shouldn't talk in-character during sex) in my various experiences watching porn, I ahven't reallly hit many with the truly "gross out" factor. Ew.
For the gross ass sex, the one liner that ruins the experience, and lack of variety, this porn gets one pussy.
Maybe watch it on fast forward so you can get the sex, without too much of the dumb dance and without sound.
Yes, it is the long awaited PORN REVIEW!
This week: "Be Gentle, It's My First Time".
I picked it up because I thought maybe, just maybe, some porn actors could act, because obviously it's not their first time, or so I assumed.
3 scenes, 3 girls, regular boy on girl action.
It's pretty vanilla sex, although the first girl does some pretty raunchy things - things I will be getting into later.
But getting back to the whole notion of "my first time", watching, all three girls start of in a "sexy" pose, does a little "sexy" dance, and strips. The dancing was so bad, that I could at least believe that it certainly their first time doing the erotic dance.
So they can't dance. It doesn't ruin a porn, does it?
Well this is why about 95% of porn dialogue should be scrapped. It's crap. The girls have one line, and somehow by uttering it, they utterly ruin the porn.
It began with the first girl. After doing her erotic "dance", she begins sucking off her partner. After a few minutes of that, he throws her down, strips her, and then she looks straight into the camera and says, "be gentle, it's my first time."
Oh fucking dear god.
The other two girls do it too.
I didn't realize how a single line could simply ruin a porn experience. But their delivery was so awful, so staged and so unbelievable that I was so soured.
It's not as though I belived them for a second, but the title of the movie could have just been bullshit and the girls could have remained quiet - it would have been a decent porn. But the fact that the first girl gets fucked in the ass, screams "I LOVE getting fucked in the ass" not ten minutes after she asks to be treated gently is just weak. It's called editing people. Do it.
Also, getting fucked int he ass, licking/sucking the dick, and putting it back without camera cuts or angle changes or even WASHING is just gross. I don't care how gross or sticky the lube got, add more, dont' moisturize with your mouth.
It's clearly an amateaur film, but I've seen amateur films surpass "professional films" in content and turn-on factor.
While I've had my fill of the turn-on factor, the perplexing factor (why give the plastic penis a blow job?) and the distracting factor (porn actors shouldn't talk in-character during sex) in my various experiences watching porn, I ahven't reallly hit many with the truly "gross out" factor. Ew.
For the gross ass sex, the one liner that ruins the experience, and lack of variety, this porn gets one pussy.
Maybe watch it on fast forward so you can get the sex, without too much of the dumb dance and without sound.
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
I always have to fast forward through porn, because some of it is just completely ridiculous.
What's the point of having a dialouge anyway? It's not like we watch porn because the storyline is so great.