feel special: you guys are getting the full explanation/story, whereas my twitter and facebook friends only get the abbreviated version. here goes!
i've decided to go offline for a week. checking my email once a day, not checking this site or FB or Twitter or anything. i'm even removing the apps from my iPhone. don't worry, it's not hard to get a hold of me. my email and phone number are easily located, if you look for them. sometimes even if you don't. anyway.
reasons: if you've been reading this through my last few posts, you've probably noticed i'm a bit of a sad-sack lately. it's true, i'm not afraid to admit it. but it's not a state of being that i enjoy. so i'm going to try to fix it. of course, finding a job is a big part of that. figuring out what the fuck i'm doing with myself is another. but another, subtle, part of it is my seeming inability to care about other people in a meaningful way, to make any basic human connection to another person.
i was talking to a very old friend of mine last night. first time i've talked to him in maybe a year. he was the last person i feel confident saying that i cared about. we talked for a long time. his view was basically "you want to hang out with me because you're depressed. i don't want to hang out with you because you're depressed. you don't want my friendship, you want me to fix you." which is more accurate than i'd like.
he thinks i'd be happier if i spent more time around my friends, which i really haven't been doing lately. i've just sort of stopped spending time with people, not sure why. in this day and age, it's almost harder to NOT be in constant contact with one's friends. and yet, i've managed it. i'm on FB and Twitter and myspace almost constantly, but my actual meaningful time spent is almost nil. plus, i spend time on the internet instead of doing things i should be doing, like jobhunting or reading or playing music or really anything and everything.
so i'm done with it. no facebook, no twitter, no SG, no myspace, none of it. for a week. i still have people's phone numbers and addresses, and they have mine. we'll see what happens. perhaps i'll replace the internet with movies and TV, or books, or constant masturbation. who knows?
at around midnight tonight my self-imposed exile begins.
perhaps, for fuller effect, i should outlaw TV and music as well, but... baby steps. one thing at a time. wish me luck, and i'll see you in a week.
i've decided to go offline for a week. checking my email once a day, not checking this site or FB or Twitter or anything. i'm even removing the apps from my iPhone. don't worry, it's not hard to get a hold of me. my email and phone number are easily located, if you look for them. sometimes even if you don't. anyway.
reasons: if you've been reading this through my last few posts, you've probably noticed i'm a bit of a sad-sack lately. it's true, i'm not afraid to admit it. but it's not a state of being that i enjoy. so i'm going to try to fix it. of course, finding a job is a big part of that. figuring out what the fuck i'm doing with myself is another. but another, subtle, part of it is my seeming inability to care about other people in a meaningful way, to make any basic human connection to another person.
i was talking to a very old friend of mine last night. first time i've talked to him in maybe a year. he was the last person i feel confident saying that i cared about. we talked for a long time. his view was basically "you want to hang out with me because you're depressed. i don't want to hang out with you because you're depressed. you don't want my friendship, you want me to fix you." which is more accurate than i'd like.
he thinks i'd be happier if i spent more time around my friends, which i really haven't been doing lately. i've just sort of stopped spending time with people, not sure why. in this day and age, it's almost harder to NOT be in constant contact with one's friends. and yet, i've managed it. i'm on FB and Twitter and myspace almost constantly, but my actual meaningful time spent is almost nil. plus, i spend time on the internet instead of doing things i should be doing, like jobhunting or reading or playing music or really anything and everything.
so i'm done with it. no facebook, no twitter, no SG, no myspace, none of it. for a week. i still have people's phone numbers and addresses, and they have mine. we'll see what happens. perhaps i'll replace the internet with movies and TV, or books, or constant masturbation. who knows?
at around midnight tonight my self-imposed exile begins.
perhaps, for fuller effect, i should outlaw TV and music as well, but... baby steps. one thing at a time. wish me luck, and i'll see you in a week.