let's see... where to start? i suppose the big things would be, in chronological order: moving in to a new apt in May, my roommate/ex-girlfriend moved out, and i lost my job.
the apt. thing isn't much worth talking about. it's smaller, cheaper, 'nuff said.
about a month and a half ago, i was just having a very not-cool day, and when i got home from work i basically said to hethr "i want you out of here by the end of next month". i figured a month and a half is more than enough time to find another place, right? anyway, we fought about that for a while, about why i'd want that, why she doesn't, how it's not fair to her after all she gave up or whatever, and yeah. she acquiesced. after that, things sort of settled down a bit (knowing there's an end in sight will do that), and we maybe started treating each other as friends again. so that was nice. she's still not happy about it, but she moved her bed and cat to her new house a few days ago, so it's done. she's coming back after work to get (hopefully) the last of her stuff. sometimes she never wants to see me again, sometimes she wants to stay friends, i'm always ambivalent. i'm broken like that. anyway.
backstory: about three weeks to a month ago, i had to see my boss about my long call times. i had to sign a thing saying i understood that if the calls stayed long, i'd get fired, and i had a month or whatever to straighten out. yesterday, i went in to work at 8, as always. around 10:30ish, i get a chat from my boss, can i go see her please? i know what it's about, so i respond "am i fired?" "come see me please", is the response. so i do. and i am. and i sit in the reception area while she goes and loads a box with my stuff and i'm out by 11.
without a roommate, without a job, i have enough in my bank account to pay rent once. maybe, MAYBE i'll have money left. dunno yet. so i'm looking for jobs, and probably going to look into scientific studies and selling plasma. i'd sell my body, but i'm insecure about myself and wouldn't know how to start anyway.
good things: my brother's new band is playing at Emos on April 10th (you should totally go see them and buy me a beer); i'm sort of, in some indefinable way, feeling better about myself. i think i feel like i know myself a little better than i did before. i don't necessarily like myself, but at least i know myself, y'know? and that's good.
i usually buy things to cheer myself up, but obviously that's not an option. so instead i'm trying to force myself to make music. write something, play something, really just anything, at least once a day. determination and perserverance are things i don't have much of. so we'll see how this goes. perhaps i'll pawn my instruments and buy useless shit, haha! dunno. anyway. now you're pretty well up-to-date on my world. sorry i'm boring and/or depressing. i'm working on it. i promise i'm not like this all the time, i just seem to save it up for blogging. and yes, i owe you another cookie. bye!
the apt. thing isn't much worth talking about. it's smaller, cheaper, 'nuff said.
about a month and a half ago, i was just having a very not-cool day, and when i got home from work i basically said to hethr "i want you out of here by the end of next month". i figured a month and a half is more than enough time to find another place, right? anyway, we fought about that for a while, about why i'd want that, why she doesn't, how it's not fair to her after all she gave up or whatever, and yeah. she acquiesced. after that, things sort of settled down a bit (knowing there's an end in sight will do that), and we maybe started treating each other as friends again. so that was nice. she's still not happy about it, but she moved her bed and cat to her new house a few days ago, so it's done. she's coming back after work to get (hopefully) the last of her stuff. sometimes she never wants to see me again, sometimes she wants to stay friends, i'm always ambivalent. i'm broken like that. anyway.
backstory: about three weeks to a month ago, i had to see my boss about my long call times. i had to sign a thing saying i understood that if the calls stayed long, i'd get fired, and i had a month or whatever to straighten out. yesterday, i went in to work at 8, as always. around 10:30ish, i get a chat from my boss, can i go see her please? i know what it's about, so i respond "am i fired?" "come see me please", is the response. so i do. and i am. and i sit in the reception area while she goes and loads a box with my stuff and i'm out by 11.
without a roommate, without a job, i have enough in my bank account to pay rent once. maybe, MAYBE i'll have money left. dunno yet. so i'm looking for jobs, and probably going to look into scientific studies and selling plasma. i'd sell my body, but i'm insecure about myself and wouldn't know how to start anyway.
good things: my brother's new band is playing at Emos on April 10th (you should totally go see them and buy me a beer); i'm sort of, in some indefinable way, feeling better about myself. i think i feel like i know myself a little better than i did before. i don't necessarily like myself, but at least i know myself, y'know? and that's good.
i usually buy things to cheer myself up, but obviously that's not an option. so instead i'm trying to force myself to make music. write something, play something, really just anything, at least once a day. determination and perserverance are things i don't have much of. so we'll see how this goes. perhaps i'll pawn my instruments and buy useless shit, haha! dunno. anyway. now you're pretty well up-to-date on my world. sorry i'm boring and/or depressing. i'm working on it. i promise i'm not like this all the time, i just seem to save it up for blogging. and yes, i owe you another cookie. bye!
sideshow_freak:
Damn that sucks... I have lived through this sort of thing in the past, it definitely gets better... eventually. 