axisofpudding

short version: my brother was taken to the hospital last Friday night for extreme drunkenness, and i'm done drinking for a little while. also, i dropped my iPhone in water, so i'm using a Razr for a bit.

long version: the roommate (hethr) and i went to see Master Pancake heckle Goldfinger on Friday at 10. we had much fun and and afterwards, because we were feeling good from not having fought all day, we decided to go dancing. we pre-gamed in the car on her wine (we planned ahead and brought it from home), then went to Barbarella around 12:30-1ish. decent music, lot of assholes, expensive drinks.

my brother (Trevor) showed up a little later, so i bought the three of us (hethr, Trevor and i) all a shot of Powers and a Lone Star. there was a bit more dancing after that, and i ended up dancing with some blonde girl who hethr assures me was a bit of a horse-face. oh well. i go to buy her a drink, because i'm a sucker like that, and a mutual friend of Trevor and mine taps me on the shoulder. i'm told i should probably keep an eye out for/on Trevor, as he didn't seem to be doing so well. the girl, meanwhile, has apparently gotten a drink from someone else, so i'm of no interest. but no matter, i have other things on my mind now.

i'm pretty well sauced, and i start searching for my brother, getting more frantic the longer i search. the place isn't very big. i check the smoking area (he wouldn't be there), and even the girl's restroom (actually by accident). at that point, hethr texts me, telling me she needs to go. she has work in the morning. but i don't care about that. she's never seen me actually care about another person at all before, so she figures i'm just being difficult. i'm not. we fight. we yell. she slumps against a wall outside some bar, crying. i'm an asshole.

i walk away from her, thinking she'll follow. so i walk to the car, thinking i'll call Trev's phone once hethr and i get situated. she doesn't follow, so i walk back to where she was, calling Trev's phone as i walk. hethr's gone, and someone who isn't Trev answers and hands the phone to someone else who isn't Trev. i'm told that he's outside Barbarella (he wasn't there 5 minutes before), and he's not doing so good.

i find him between two cars, having just vomited, and being patted on the back by some dude i've never seen before. (why does everybody instinctively pat vomiters on the back like that? weird.) Trev's got his eyes fully closed, he's barely coherent, and completely unable to stand at all, even for a second. he can't even lean on me. so i kick in to full Brother-mode, if i wasn't there already. i pick the fucker up and sling him over my shoulder like the (in)famous sack of old potatoes. i get about 30 feet with him, yelling at anyone who asks "is he okay?" all the way. (of course he's not fucking okay! if he were, you wouldn't ask! be helpful or fuck off!) after i manage to round one corner, i realize i can't carry him to my car. (i guess i figured if i could get him home he'd be fine. i dunno. wasn't thinking too well.) i set him down against a wall and try to keep him awake while i try to regain my strength.

before i get strength, the ambulance arrives. they ask him the questions (what year is it? seven. who's the president? Toonces the cat. what's your name? yes please). they strap him to the gurney and off they go. before they go, i'm told that i'm not allowed in the ambulance. i'm too drunk. they don't want me riding with him, and they don't want me driving to him. fuckers.

so i call the parents, tell them what i know (not much), and realize at about 2:48, i need to move my car or it'll get towed. i should not have driven. not at all, not even a little bit. i moved my car to just of MLK, near some friends of mine. i call my roommate when i realize i lost her. some girl apparently saw us fighting, and drove hethr home. so hethr, not very sober herself, comes and picks me up.

i realize i need to pee, while i'm waiting, so i go behind a gas station. beside me is one of those ice cream coolers, with water in it. in to that water i drop my phone. mid phone call. luckily, i had Trev's phone. he's passed out, he won't need it. so i use his phone to complete the calls i need to make (giving directions to hethr. twice.) she arrives, i use google maps to assume he's at Brackenridge, so we go there. i call my dad, he comes out and talks for a bit. Trev's awake and talking, they gave him electrolytes or saline or maybe just a juice box or something, i dunno. Dad takes my car key, and sends hethr and i home.

we get home around 4-5am, and hethr decides i need to calm down, so she hands me a beer.

the next day, around 3, i get up and get picked up by Mother. she takes me to their house, where my brother and my car and his car are located. turns out he barely ate anything all day Friday. one of the first things he says to me is that i'm an asshole. ah, brotherly love. my parents have stuck their hospital visitor stickers on his flask, and he's still wearing the paper pajamas from the hospital. the family sits around for a bit, telling stories about the previous night and laughing more than we should. Trevor and i both decide to stop drinking for a while.

Thanks for reading all this. i owe you another cookie.