On the left was a picture I posted to IG about 98 weeks ago. Full blown junkie in the mirror snapping selfies on the daily thinking shit was sweet.
On the right side was me about two weeks ago outside my towns local coffee shop before I went to work. See the differences?
I actually weigh less now than I do when I was a heroin addicted scum bag. I wouldn't eat when I was in junkie mode, but when I did it was all trash. Sugar and grease were the staples to keep me moving.
I actually gained a good thirty plus pounds while I was in prison. Still eating all the garbage, but I was working out too. My chest and shoulders got even bigger. Since I've been home I've lost all that weight and a little more.
I've been eating pretty healthy, I walk a mile to and from work six days a week, and I actually give a shit about my personal hygiene and grooming habits. I've always been bigger, maybe even a little fat. So I've had issues with my confidence levels.
Sobriety changes so many things for me. I actually care what I look like, I'm able to hold an awesome full time job (I'm the head cook at this little mostly Italian restaurant) and I have a few awesome friends. Its just crazy what life is. But right now, for me, life is good.
Just the simple thought of heroin makes me absolutely sick to my stomach anymore. I'm now able to appreciate all the things I wasn't able to when getting high was my only concern and priority. Shit still isn't all the way sweet. Life could be so much better. But I'm fucking alive. I'm doing what I can. I still go to sleep and wake up with a smile on my face every day and night.
So I don't have the latest hottest cell phone, or my own car. I sleep on my dads couch in the basement and I'm 27 years old. And I have like four friends. I can't even go to a bar and hang out. Fuck it all. I'm fucking alive. I'm enjoying the shit outta every single thing that I do have. So count your blessings and give thanks for all the shit that makes you smile. Stop bitching about all the shit you wish was better.
And to everyone here in SG land, I thank all of you as well. The few members I have interacted with are truly beautiful people. And I thank all of you for your precious words of encouragement and powerful letters of support.
Happy Thanksgiving to all ❤
