avidity

grrrrr entire blog written, then gone. it is just the most hopless feeling in the land.

so instead of trying to recreate whatever humor and wit i may have been able to work in. i'm leaving you with pictures.

i haven't really taken video or pics of the new place. i know i know. but it's not entirely done. so give me one more day. but this one part of the living room is....



this was from earlier today, while i was finishing up...but find the cat in this picture!



yes that is food network in the background. i'm becoming such a junkie. i made asparagus lasagna last night, which doesn't have any sauce. it's very strange. but decent. scott liked it, i wasn't a huge fan. it's nice inviting him over for dinner or to watch something. the truth is, we haven't been apart that much since the move. but it's more enjoyable when we are together. which is very nice. i don't know. i have a feeling in the end we are going to end up together. which makes this whole thing a giant waste of time. people keep saying i just have to give it more time. i mean this is a process. so we'll see. anyway, back to the cooking...tomorrow i'm making polenta crusted shrimp with a dijion herb dip. mmmm. and probably pasta of some sort.

i need to be in bed, but i'm trying to decide where some stuff should go. storage is definitely an issue here. i have one closet. it's spacious, but still, there's only one. there are some issues i need to get fixed here, they are minor, but there are quite a few...

- the wiring in my ceiling fan makes the attached light blink like poltergiest
- the switch for my garbage disposal is apparently just for show
- my dryer is from circa 1960 and will only do it's job if i put a dishtowel and a sock in there
- there is a strange clicking sound coming from behind the wall next to my sink whenever i run the hot water
- small leak under the sink, which i discovered only after i put my papertowels under there

again nothing major, but i'm paying enough for this place. i'll do a major tour video tomorrow. tonight it's too late, and it's still too messy.

tonight was rough. i've debated saying anything about it. but it's my blog, and it was a significant part of my day. i let someone's hollow words get to me, and i shouldn't have. in the end, the people who matter know it isn't true, and are standing by me, and that's really all i care about. the rest is just insecurity, which has nothing to do with me. but i guess cutting someone up into pieces can make all that better somehow. oh well, you win, you made me cry. feel better?

wish me luck on getting up on my own tomorrow. i'm sleeping like a rock these days.

random me contemplating furniture positioning...




video time.


no there is no special meaning. it's just a song i absolutely love.