It's been awhile since I've said anything on this site and it's mostly just because I didn't really have a lot to say. However, today, I feel like I have to get something off my chest....I need an outlet and I don't feel right about putting any of this on facebook. I don't want to be "that guy." Lately I've been super depressed. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being in stupid Texas....or more specifically, the city that I'm in in Texas that I can't seem to escape. I'm stuck in an Army town which unfortunately makes the dating scene really tough. Since my time in this town and when I was in the Army, I've seen a lot of soldiers just do fucked up stuff to women...and I've seen the women here do the same. I have the utmost respect for soldiers, just when it comes to relationships, most of them are dirtballs. Because of all I've seen, it makes it hard for me to trust any women in this area.
It seems like everyone else in my life gets to be happy and I don't. I don't get women, I just don't understand them. I'm a genuinely good guy. I have a good job, I have my own place, I have a car and I'm not a dirtbag. Yet, I constantly get walked and looked over by women. I feel like for my age, I'm falling behind. 90 percent of my friends are married and/or have kids. I haven't had a decent relationship in almost 4 years and she ended up not being the greatest person anyways. There have been women since then, but they didn't last long and most of them ended up having babies or getting married to the next guy after me. It's like I'm the real Good Luck Chuck. You know how much it sucks to have no one to go out with and hang out with because they're all married or involved? You know how much it sucks when they all invite you over for a BBQ or something and you're the only single one there? I'm tired of it. I hate not having anyone to come home to. It's depressing.
There was this girl in Arizona that I met when I was in college. I honestly thought she was the one, then all of a sudden she just stopped talking to me. I tried to play it cool, but it just got so aggravating that she would hardly respond to any texts. We used to talk all the time and we I felt a real connection with her that I didn't feel with anyone else. Now, I just don't know how to act around her. It's like she's someone else. She can't answer a text, yet she can post some stupid update on facebook? C'mon....really? I decided to delete her number out of my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to set my self up for depression when she wouldn't answer. I hid her feed from my facebook, so I wouldn't be depressed when i would see that she had time to post something, but not talk to me. Yet she still gets in my head. I hate it.
Is it really so much to ask to be happy? That's all I want. I haven't genuinely been happy in a while. I've been content...but not happy.
It seems like everyone else in my life gets to be happy and I don't. I don't get women, I just don't understand them. I'm a genuinely good guy. I have a good job, I have my own place, I have a car and I'm not a dirtbag. Yet, I constantly get walked and looked over by women. I feel like for my age, I'm falling behind. 90 percent of my friends are married and/or have kids. I haven't had a decent relationship in almost 4 years and she ended up not being the greatest person anyways. There have been women since then, but they didn't last long and most of them ended up having babies or getting married to the next guy after me. It's like I'm the real Good Luck Chuck. You know how much it sucks to have no one to go out with and hang out with because they're all married or involved? You know how much it sucks when they all invite you over for a BBQ or something and you're the only single one there? I'm tired of it. I hate not having anyone to come home to. It's depressing.
There was this girl in Arizona that I met when I was in college. I honestly thought she was the one, then all of a sudden she just stopped talking to me. I tried to play it cool, but it just got so aggravating that she would hardly respond to any texts. We used to talk all the time and we I felt a real connection with her that I didn't feel with anyone else. Now, I just don't know how to act around her. It's like she's someone else. She can't answer a text, yet she can post some stupid update on facebook? C'mon....really? I decided to delete her number out of my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to set my self up for depression when she wouldn't answer. I hid her feed from my facebook, so I wouldn't be depressed when i would see that she had time to post something, but not talk to me. Yet she still gets in my head. I hate it.
Is it really so much to ask to be happy? That's all I want. I haven't genuinely been happy in a while. I've been content...but not happy.
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