avenel

I guess its time I updated the world properly on recent events in my life.
It was all going so well, I was offered a tattooing apprenticeship, I had my boy by my side and was excited about looking for a new house and gearing up for a move to a new town. I had seen a few stunning flats with the high ceilings, big windows and wooden floors. Yes wed have struggle with money but we would have scrapped by, Id have got a second job to help pay the bills. Id looked into some of the bars I could do several shifts a week in after finishing work at the shop.
And then the bombshell came.
My boy wasnt sure he could be my boy anymore. He wasnt as happy as he had once been, sure we argued, everyone does. I dont know in my head Id pictured us together for a long time to come, growing older together, sharing our lives. I guess I was very naive.
We had not had the easiest relationship, it had had some very very rocky patches, things had gone so wrong. But 9 months on from all that I thought wed cracked it, I was happy, content. I felt stupid for not knowing that he wasnt as happy as he felt he should be. All along things and people had done their best to stop us to hurt us to break us apart and through it all wed stayed strong, I didnt get why now.
So I was alone once more.
The next thing to think about was the job Id been offered. I couldnt do the start date they wanted because my current job requires one months notice. This wasnt a major problem. The main problem was finances. AS I would be on no pay at the apprenticeship for the first 6 months I would need to work another job, but because of the times I was available bar work was the only thing really open to me. Even then there was no way I would be able to work every evening. I sat down and worked out how much I could earn and what Id need to pay out and there was no way I could cover costs. So I thought about a loan, I went to the bank, and they said no.
I contacted the tattooists explaining that Id had a sudden change of circumstances and was having difficulty sorting out finances. This was their reply:

Hi Naomi,

Thanks for the e-mail - apologies its taken so long to reply, studio has been really busy over the week.

Myself and Claire are reviewing the situation with the apprenticeship at the moment and are probably going to go down the road of having applicants to come and spend a day at the studio.

This will be done separately with each applicant just to see how they get along with the team and to possible design a tattoo for someone that comes in on that day or one previously.

Due to the staff holiday period about to kick-in this will I imagine run into September so please don't feel we have forgotten about you and with your circumstances changing we can appreciate that you weren't in a position to get back to us within said dates.

Speak again soon,
Take care

Paul

So I guess its all up in the air once more. Im not quite sure whats happening there. There are other things I need to sort though. Im homeless in under a month, I have no idea where Im moving to. My friend Kev is supposedly moving down from Glasgow to house share with me, but thats all dependent on him getting a job hes waiting on here. And even then we need to find a third person so we can afford a decent house.

Ive been partying hard, boozing, trying to block everything out I guess. I cant let myself think about it or else Ill fall to the floor and I cant guarantee that Ill be able to get up again.
It could be far worse, I know this, but my heart is broken and I have no idea where Im headed.

Ive been listening to the acoustic version of this song on repeat.

At a hundred miles an hour,
it all starts to blur
Maybe I can learn
To bring myself in line


At a hundred miles an hour
The smoke just sinks in to the sea
And I hope you dont mind
If I take your love with me
.

No turning back, this is my path
To save myself
No giving in, I have to begin
For better heath
.

And I watched you fade away as I pour myself this drink
And I toast to better days
What exactly did you think

Check it out at www.sometimenever.co.uk











Theres much more but I dont have the energy.



OUCH!OUCH!OUCH!


boiling water on the thighs hurts like fuck! leaves nasty litle blisters too


I'm so clumsy