Gah. Too much bad shit going on this week. Moreso than most previous weeks combined. I think I want to die, although, admittedly, the chances of that happening are probably pretty slim.
Nevertheless, it's a crutch the hold onto when the going gets rough.
To wit:
• I received an email from an ex-girlfriend that I hadn't heard from since 2003 this week, which has been really fucking up my already fragile emotional state.
• Yes, that's me in my userpic and yes, I was crying when it was taken.
• A fuckup in the payroll department led to my not being paid, as regularly scheduled, last Friday.
• I had to cancel a doctor's appointment for tomorrow because of said payroll fuckup.
• I wish I was female.
• I'm agoraphobic and with agoraphobia comes, however ironically, abject loneliness.
• I'm out of sleep meds and I can't get to sleep without them (this has been tested and verified after years of needing sleep and having no sedatives at hand).
• I'm in a perpetual state of feeling like I'm going to cry.
• Because of the aforementioned payroll fuckup, I have no money at all.
• When things like this happen in such rapid succession, I get suicidal.
• My life sucks.
• I have nothing.
• If I were to die wthin the next couple of days nobody would notice, which makes suicide a bit less attractive. i.e., no one will comment on this entry.
• etc.
Nevertheless, it's a crutch the hold onto when the going gets rough.
To wit:
• I received an email from an ex-girlfriend that I hadn't heard from since 2003 this week, which has been really fucking up my already fragile emotional state.
• Yes, that's me in my userpic and yes, I was crying when it was taken.
• A fuckup in the payroll department led to my not being paid, as regularly scheduled, last Friday.
• I had to cancel a doctor's appointment for tomorrow because of said payroll fuckup.
• I wish I was female.
• I'm agoraphobic and with agoraphobia comes, however ironically, abject loneliness.
• I'm out of sleep meds and I can't get to sleep without them (this has been tested and verified after years of needing sleep and having no sedatives at hand).
• I'm in a perpetual state of feeling like I'm going to cry.
• Because of the aforementioned payroll fuckup, I have no money at all.
• When things like this happen in such rapid succession, I get suicidal.
• My life sucks.
• I have nothing.
• If I were to die wthin the next couple of days nobody would notice, which makes suicide a bit less attractive. i.e., no one will comment on this entry.
• etc.