avalon13chase

sometimes I just want to fade away
other times i want to shine

the shoot went very well, I had fun..and when/if you see it you will see me, thats what I wanted more than anything was for my set to reflect hanging out with me.
Then the shoot is over, we ride home and my head begins to fill with all the demons i create, the not good enough, the not hot enough..etc. We tourture ourselves sometimes.
the weather was so warm yesterday, and now it is raw and chilly..that doesnt help my blahness..
I suppose im down because its done, you know..i put so much thought into how i wanted the set to feel, and now I spent..I cannot wait for it to get looked over.
We went out to lunch today, yummy indian food..then i bought some records and i have to clean
id write more, but honestly Im not sure what to say..
morning sex made me feel better..
I know he loves me
sometimes i feel like i dont diserve him..
AC