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avalon

bum fuck, kentucky

SG Since 2004

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Friday Mar 18, 2005

Mar 18, 2005
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Well I am sending in my new set today. Hopefully that will go up relativley soon. I haven't given a real update in some time so here it goes:

* I started a new schedule at work. I get off much earlier and I like the people much better, so that rules.

* I went and saw Taste of Chaos and it sucked. I didn't even get to talk to my homies from MCR so I was super sad. I guess they are just too famous for me now frown

* I am starting my Masters program this summer. EEK!

* I have reached a plateau in my life. That is good and bad. Things are pretty montonous and steady but not very exciting. I feel strange. It is as if I want to fight what is inevitable- routine. I know that I will probably have to work the rest of my life and follow a set routine but for some reason I don't want that. I am a pretty impulsive person. I do live for the moment- maybe that is gay. But- I dunno. I like exciting things to happen to me and to be consumed with inconsistancies. It keep thing interesting. Plus- I get bored easy. This whole 9-5 monday through friday shit isn't exactly cutting it.

Basically I feel like I am a robot. I want so bad to run back to college (and I am for my masters but only part time) but I can't just go to school now. I know I have to work now for a living and if I don't I will be out on my ass with nothing. That is quite disturbing. I wish I could run back to my parents house and retreat to a life of debachery and laziness but I can't and what is worse even if I wanted to I couldn't. So I am forced into the life I have now.

I guess it isn't so bad but fuck- I just want something else to occur. I am the type of person who craves something new at all times. Something I can learn from, or something I am intrigued by. I feel life is something you must emnbrace for all it is worth- good and bad. I just can't see living like this the rest of my life. Maybe I will start a band, I have been in a few bands before. That would defintiley satisfy me. I have a lot of stuff that I have wrote that could be awesome song lyrics. But I digress...

At least is it getting warmer. No heat in my car this whole winter has been quite painful...

<3
Avalon
tadzi:
youre not alone.

this isnt to say you arent a beautiful and unique person, but i think part of being intellegent and working is feeling like you are stuck in this rut. this is why i have so much difficulty with the idea of being part of the traditional 9-5 working class and bounce around from job to job.

i like your last longer paragraph. you got some good ideas in there. go with that.
Mar 19, 2005

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