lately my life is a big mess and i dont know what to do
sex and drinking and love and hate and then more sex
and i hate the army.

so i did something silly, and had sex with my best friend who had a girlfriend (until the next day) and is painfully in love with me and lets me know that every single day. and i love him, with all my heart, and i do want to be with him BUT i know that being with him means serious relationship and love and trust and shit and i dont know if im ready for that with anyone just yet, let alone someone as special to me as he is.

also, hes not the only one in my life right now, its like theres never just one good guy around at once, there always has to be like 20 choices and i never know how to pick one without hurting the rest, and i end up losing them all and being the only one whos really hurt.

on a happier note though im LOVING my job right now, making lots of money and loving everyone around me (all the more reason to not want a boyfriend and to just have fun)...school started again so the city is like shut down during the day, and i feel kinda lame for being 18 and not being little miss college student...but thats okay...next year

im going to ireland soooooon!!! and im mad chomping at the bit to get out of this continent..mainly just to hide for a little while.

ummm oh and andy i miss you, when you see this, come back to my neck of the woods please so we can like, do lunch, KAY?!

alright i dont know what else to sayyyy...a friend of mine knows an amazing photographer out of edmonton who wants to do my first set really bad soooo hopefully that comes soon

also...i met Kat Von D

YAYYYY

love everyone

XO. Lou