life is frustrating the shit out of me
the leaves are starting to turn and fall
the evenings are cooling off
everyone is moving away for school, getting real jobs, and starting life
and all i want to do is hang out on the beach
smoke some marijuana
have a beer
and cling to summer with everything ive got
but instead im spending all of my time serving at a hole in the wall restraunt
dealing with saved by the bell drama bullshit
and waiting around for it to be my turn to become a big girl
i feel useless not really knowing where to go from here
its like im the only one that doesnt have a plan any further than tomorrow mornings staff meeting
or tomorrow nights party
and i know i will get my shit together
but right now, im just scared
and overwhelmed
and frustrated...with this:
does she ever tell you that still to this day im in love with her?
"that id do anything for her and care so much about her well being
how all she does is trash talk me and i take it, cause all i want is to hear from her and know shes doing fine?
does she tell u about how i call her? and she picks up and says 'what do u want' when all i wanted was to hear her?"
thats frustrating
and not helping anything
i just want to curl up and cry
or just fall asleep and wake up in the 3rd grade so i can start over again
i dont really know what i want
and i guess thats my whole problem
XO. Lou
PS: i hate when fucking amazing concerts come...but theyre '18+ only' and the only person that would want to go enjoy them with you is underage...MOTHERFUCKER
the leaves are starting to turn and fall
the evenings are cooling off
everyone is moving away for school, getting real jobs, and starting life
and all i want to do is hang out on the beach
smoke some marijuana
have a beer
and cling to summer with everything ive got
but instead im spending all of my time serving at a hole in the wall restraunt
dealing with saved by the bell drama bullshit
and waiting around for it to be my turn to become a big girl
i feel useless not really knowing where to go from here
its like im the only one that doesnt have a plan any further than tomorrow mornings staff meeting
or tomorrow nights party
and i know i will get my shit together
but right now, im just scared
and overwhelmed
and frustrated...with this:
does she ever tell you that still to this day im in love with her?
"that id do anything for her and care so much about her well being
how all she does is trash talk me and i take it, cause all i want is to hear from her and know shes doing fine?
does she tell u about how i call her? and she picks up and says 'what do u want' when all i wanted was to hear her?"
thats frustrating
and not helping anything
i just want to curl up and cry
or just fall asleep and wake up in the 3rd grade so i can start over again
i dont really know what i want
and i guess thats my whole problem
XO. Lou
PS: i hate when fucking amazing concerts come...but theyre '18+ only' and the only person that would want to go enjoy them with you is underage...MOTHERFUCKER
i might even update my journal before the new year.
just wanted to say hi.
cheer up dork.
talk to ya soon.