auto_maton

over thinking would be an understatement when it come to me. but back to the whole "that is you, and this is me".....that is me. I can't change that.
I understand how you are. I understand that we bump heads so much because of our differences.
what does "But I am not dating the person from the past I am dating the person in the present" mean?
you would have never even considered my friendship three years ago. So, I know you are not dating a person from the past.
the point wasn't to express that you needed to learn my past history.
my wrtings can come off vauge. they come from my head, and they're hard to understand sometimes.
I'm Analytical. Paraniod. Cautious.
I take every action and analyze it.
all the way to putting yer phone on silent and constantly checking to see if someone has called.......or texted.
That's a red-flag for shadyness.
So, yes, I am over thinking. It had saved me from a lot of mistakes.
My past has made me into this present day stress case that can't stop worrying about the "what if's".
i try, but I can't stop assuming the worst.
i'll do my best to have fun, ask questions if need be, be honest, and try to fix my insecurities.
but there was more to that then what you read.
XOXOXXX

corretion:

when i wrote my last entry, I expressed that you don't know me. it wasn't directed at you in the manner that you think. i know that you know me. i was saying that i haven't given you the opportunity to learn all that you should because of me and the way I handle things. i started off by saying that i focused all my energy on you and your life. you made me so curious as to how someone lives a normal happy life. i admire that so much. i want that so bad. that's all i've ever wanted. i put so much energy into you that it has now backfired on me. I have made everything in my life revolve around you, and yours doesn't do the same. I put too much into this...way too fast. Now, realizing that i never gave you the chance to really get to know me. Do you know how many times I've appologized for my actions in the last month to you?? WOW. I couldn't count on both hands the arguements I've started. And it's not to fight, but to understand why you do the things you do....because that's not how I do them. Growing up by myself, with no direction, made a foundation of pride and stubborness. The passage wasn't about you and your faults, it was about mine

"I wish our feelings were mutual.
Mine overwhelm the both of us.
Leaving you no room for growth....only room to back away.
Please don't back away."