aurorer

It's been so long since I've written to you I feel like ages have passed!

As you know from my last blogs my uncle passed away earlier this year and it hit me hard.

I have had so much support from you with that, I've honestly never known a bunch of people who have such beautiful souls.

Today I finally had a shoot with @gemmaedwardsuk something I truly thought wouldn't be able to happen. As I got ready this week and started concentrating on shooting, I went to the doctors to pick up my meds (these are opiates and benzodiazepines so you really can't screw around with them) however they weren't done and I wasn't able to get an appointment for a week. Somehow I waited for 5 days, with no pain medication for the next available appointment. In the mean time I was going through withdrawal from some hard medication. So anyway a long story short, I went to the doctors who didn't turn up, and I had a huge panic attack due to stopping my meds straight away. I ended up in hospital with a heart rate of 148, the crash cart came out and they thought I was going to crash. I had some meds and I was ok, my heart rate went down, but now I have to be extra careful with my medication or I'll continue having them. It was a terrifying experience, I honestly thought I couldn't breathe and my chest felt like it was going to explode. So a million blood tests later, including an arterial one and I'm home.

I had a shoot with Gemma booked for yesterday, but we changed it to today and I'm so so glad we did. It gave me a bit of time to recover, and then I went straight back into doing what I love, modelling for you guys!

My friend drove me into London and we went into the flat. Gemma was already there and we got started. There were loads of smiles, lots of laughter, I felt like myself again. I think this is the best set we've shot yet. I'm so excited about seeing what the finished product will look like. It looks fab on the screen on the camera, I can't wait 'till it's all ready and submitted. You guys will love it! I'll give you a clue I was wearing black....

So now I'm home having a rest, taking it easy, and waiting for Gemma to send across some photos to choose from for my new set next week. I'm so glad I went, I feel like I have a boost of energy now, I'm nowhere near ready to give up on my dream of becoming a SG, maybe, just maybe one of the two sets I have now by Gemma will be the key to that golden (pink) door.

So all in all it hasn't been a bad week at all, how has everyone been?

Just a little more out of interest, would any of you guys want to buy signed Polaroid/instax photos of me? I'm looking at getting an instant camera, just for my time here.

Anyway for now, giant hugs, your support and strength mean the world to me, I am so lucky I know such amazing people.

All of my love,

Aurorer xx