So I thought I'd pass on my little pieces of advice for dealing with haters, thanks @missy and @rambo for this awesome piece of homework, haters can be hard to deal with and can affect you in so many ways if you let them get to you, so this is an important subject to approach. I've come across haters a lot in my life, and it can hurt, so this is very important to me.
In my experience haters come in a few different guises, you have the green eyed (massively jealous), the judgemental, the offended, and the scorned (surrounding love or lust of any description) I've found that most haters come into one of these categories, they can be completely different, but I've always dealt with them all with the same 3 steps.
First of all reason: Whatever they're saying to you, reason it out in your head. If they're anything like most haters then what they're saying won't have any foundation behind it. Reason out why they would say it, what's driving them, if they could actually physically hurt you in any way. Get around it in your head so you go into the situation with your eyes open and you're ready for anything that could happen. Be prepared, and keep your mind focused so you don't lose control of the situation.
Secondly confront or ignore: If it's a situation where it isn't going to affect you in any way, and you really feel like you can turn your back, then do so. It's healthy to be able to let things go, and most haters will lose the will to hate if you just ignore them. If it's a situation where it is going to affect you in any way, then you need to deal with it. Confront it. Be smart, don't get angry. Remember as soon as you do you lose the battle and they have what they want. They want a reaction that makes them feel good. You being hurt or upset will push them to hate on you more.
Last of all, the big fuck you: Sometimes you just can't get anywhere with ignoring, confronting calmly, reason, or any of the above combined. Once you've exhausted these, you need to absolutely blow their mind away. Remember that the less you swear in regular conversation, the more effective it will be when you do. So the last piece of advice is swear, a lot, call them the most graphic load of expletives you possibly can, go nuts, make them hate you for real, make them want to stay away from you as they think you're absolutely bloody mental and grab at their own weak insecurities that make them hate on you (all haters have them). Push back with force just once, and trust me they'll stay well clear. Then turn your back and walk away. Haters become the hated, then nothing. Remember that if you save this as a last resort, and usually follow the staying calm rule, people won't expect anything like this from you. Keep it buried away for the day you need it.
Another little add on is: if you love yourself, and you believe in your choices, you stand by your beliefs, and hold your own values high, nobody can hurt you emotionally. You're invincible. The most important part to me, is living with the hate they throw at you when you're on your own and thinking deeply about it, deal with it in your head, then wipe it clean and forget. I've always believed if you give haters your time, or your thoughts, or ammo, it gives them momentum. So love yourself, live with your choices, and forget are the most important lessons I've learned.
So, that was one hell of a long essay, I just wanted to get my little lessons across, they've helped me and I had to live to learn them. I've met many haters, and many lovers, in life the lovers make the hate worth it. This site is full of lovers.
Good bye for now,
Love,
Aurorer
Xxx
