Yarg! Brain overload.
Too many things pulling me in opposite directions.
Do I want to participate in the flux and fast-paced race of the entertainment art industry in the city, or do I want to work a humble but steady day job and get my artistic satisfaction from freelance and living in a quiet town?
The country in me wants to settle content in a small cabin and shun the race of the city life and corporate jobs, the wild side of me wants more adventure, large success, a recognizable name, and a fast car.
The practical side wants to know I will be able to provide all the funds needed to make my future children's lives secure and comfortable. The other side says "what kids!?" Really, there will be a couple of kids. But not for another decade or so.
I can't handle stress and the unknown when it relates to money. I've got to know that my last shopping splurge won't drive me to eating the ramen and scrounging for change. I'm far from that situation now, but when I leave this internship and go back to the starving student artist lifestyle I expect that my change jar will once again play a critical part in my day to day life. A reasonable person would say "well, you should just save your money for that time". I like to think I've earned this opportunity to finally buy for myself the pretty things I've been passing by for years. This is the first time I've been able to replace my ragtag wardrobe with the things I've longed to have and to present myself the way I want. Plus I have bought a lot of junk. And I might regret it later. But at least I'll have the pretty things.
WHY HAVE I CURSED MYSELF BY ACCEPTING THE LIFE OF AN ARTIST!!!??? ARRRRGH!!!!
Too many things pulling me in opposite directions.
Do I want to participate in the flux and fast-paced race of the entertainment art industry in the city, or do I want to work a humble but steady day job and get my artistic satisfaction from freelance and living in a quiet town?
The country in me wants to settle content in a small cabin and shun the race of the city life and corporate jobs, the wild side of me wants more adventure, large success, a recognizable name, and a fast car.
The practical side wants to know I will be able to provide all the funds needed to make my future children's lives secure and comfortable. The other side says "what kids!?" Really, there will be a couple of kids. But not for another decade or so.
I can't handle stress and the unknown when it relates to money. I've got to know that my last shopping splurge won't drive me to eating the ramen and scrounging for change. I'm far from that situation now, but when I leave this internship and go back to the starving student artist lifestyle I expect that my change jar will once again play a critical part in my day to day life. A reasonable person would say "well, you should just save your money for that time". I like to think I've earned this opportunity to finally buy for myself the pretty things I've been passing by for years. This is the first time I've been able to replace my ragtag wardrobe with the things I've longed to have and to present myself the way I want. Plus I have bought a lot of junk. And I might regret it later. But at least I'll have the pretty things.
WHY HAVE I CURSED MYSELF BY ACCEPTING THE LIFE OF AN ARTIST!!!??? ARRRRGH!!!!