As I play my saxophone, barely being able to get a note out of it, wondering if the it's the reed or if it's me and my bad technique/lack of practicing/bad posture/bad physical shape, just on the edge of playing some fairly cliched but suprisingly effective blues, I realize that I have finally arrived at my mid-20s.
I feel myself going crazy a lot more these days than ever and am desperate for something in my life to happen rather than feeling like my life is an endless cycle of driving to practices and working at the office. I am desperate for accomplishment and desperate for change, but I feel trapped. It's like I am experiencing growing pains once again, but this time they affect all of me, and instead of growing, I just feel the pain and awkwardness without actually getting anywhere.
I feel like I used to be happier, but now I wonder if that was somewhat of a fake happiness and now I am just being a lot more honest with myself.
But more than anything, I need a fucking vacation.
(Greg's vacation plans coming soon to a journal near you!!!)
I feel myself going crazy a lot more these days than ever and am desperate for something in my life to happen rather than feeling like my life is an endless cycle of driving to practices and working at the office. I am desperate for accomplishment and desperate for change, but I feel trapped. It's like I am experiencing growing pains once again, but this time they affect all of me, and instead of growing, I just feel the pain and awkwardness without actually getting anywhere.
I feel like I used to be happier, but now I wonder if that was somewhat of a fake happiness and now I am just being a lot more honest with myself.
But more than anything, I need a fucking vacation.
(Greg's vacation plans coming soon to a journal near you!!!)
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
toothpickmoe:
There's some good stuff in there too.
freakpirate:
I'm usually really good on vacation. I guess the key to seeing me happy is to send me somewhere the fuck else.
