Someone was interested in getting an update from me (as I seem to be updating y'all on my happenings less and less), so at the close of 2006, I will give you my thoughts. (Beware as they might come off crazy)
The new job is going well. They seem to like me and I am not screwing up too bad. The thing is, working even a bare minimum 40 hour a week job makes me feel trapped. More than ever, my vacation time is inflexible. Now I am making more money than I ever have and the crazy thing is, I am even sort of adjusting to a normal schedule. But right now, generally all I can think about at work (when I'm not thinking about what mix cds I am currently working on, which is a lot) is how I can't do this forever and how I need to find something more fulfilling and interesting and challenging, but the all the while I am just really afraid that I won't.
I hate explaining what I do to people and what my company does and I am afraid that I will never accomplish anything worth talking about.
Some old friends have been in town for Christmas and I have been having a fair amount of fun, but for some reason, at age 25, living with my parents, working a job that seems like a dead end, having no ambitions, having no passions that I am willing to work to pursue - 2007 just doesn't seem like much to look forward to. All this when I probably have more going for me now than I ever have really.
There is a good chance that I will wake up and decide that this journal entry is too ridiculous and change it to something cheerier, but this is where my head is at right now.
And now, some lyrics...cause...
I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you
- Steely Dan "Any Major Dude Will Tell You"
huh, thinking about that song already made me feel a bit better.
The new job is going well. They seem to like me and I am not screwing up too bad. The thing is, working even a bare minimum 40 hour a week job makes me feel trapped. More than ever, my vacation time is inflexible. Now I am making more money than I ever have and the crazy thing is, I am even sort of adjusting to a normal schedule. But right now, generally all I can think about at work (when I'm not thinking about what mix cds I am currently working on, which is a lot) is how I can't do this forever and how I need to find something more fulfilling and interesting and challenging, but the all the while I am just really afraid that I won't.
I hate explaining what I do to people and what my company does and I am afraid that I will never accomplish anything worth talking about.
Some old friends have been in town for Christmas and I have been having a fair amount of fun, but for some reason, at age 25, living with my parents, working a job that seems like a dead end, having no ambitions, having no passions that I am willing to work to pursue - 2007 just doesn't seem like much to look forward to. All this when I probably have more going for me now than I ever have really.
There is a good chance that I will wake up and decide that this journal entry is too ridiculous and change it to something cheerier, but this is where my head is at right now.
And now, some lyrics...cause...
I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you
- Steely Dan "Any Major Dude Will Tell You"
huh, thinking about that song already made me feel a bit better.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
do you not go to the doctor then?