i only have like a month or so left in my free membership. i realllllly have to get a set done before it runs out. i really wanted posh to take my pictures, but i don't know when we will be in the same town. i met this photographer guy at the bar who said he'd do it. i know that sounds sketchy, but he's a professional photographer, and will be taking ryan's press package photos i think. sure he's charging ryan like three times more or something but, come on, i am a naked girl. hopefully he won't even charge me at all.

i feel a little bit weird about a random guy taking pictures of me though. i don't know if i could do it.

working at the video store is great. mostly when i am working without bosses. this one nerd guy works there and i fucking adore him. he is so hilarious and nerdy. i get along way too well with huge dorks. but that's just because i am one. my boss is very creepy though and tells innappropriate stories to his young female employees and is in to weird underground fetish porn, it's weird.

speaking of which, i never thought i had a problem with porn. infact, i used to get off to it quite often. but going in the porn room at work is like.. disturbing. it just fucking violates you. i think i really just hate porn covers. so tacky, so graphic, so in your face, so eww. i can't go to the back room without seeing like eleventy thousand girls with sick looks on their face getting shot with jizz in the eye or something. god it makes me sad. it just like.. marauds you. i hate it.

but i looooooove the nerd guy. like this. really hearts bulge in and out of my eyes when i work with him. he got me a dukes of hazzard poster from the back. i have a wicked platonic crush on him.

vancouver this weekend. the shins. should be fun. i don't know though. things in my life are so.. uggh... i don't know. but no, this weekend will be great. nice change from the ordinary. we might go to playland or something, and might go out for a beer with my brother, who really hates me, but for some reason wants to take me out for a beer anyway now that i am 19.

i wish i had a new picture to post in here but i do not. i really should use that digital camera more often. the novelty wears off so quickly.

god, that's the fucking story of my life.

i wish the novelty of everything didn't have to inevitably wear off, no matter how permenant it once seemed, leaving me not knowing what the fuck to do with my life.

what am i talking about. you will never know.

i had a dream ben kweller wanted to be my boyfriend and i wish it was true. i hate it when you have rad dreams and you never want to wake up from them, but then you do, and real life sucks so much in comparison.



look we're made for eachother. no one else in the world likes nes! that's like, so rare. haha.