good weekend, this. i have today off and am enjoying having a couple big blocks of time of my own. the unfortunate side effect is a heightened awareness of the passage of time - i don't get another day off for a long while - till thanksgiving - and that break will be spent largely at home. aiyee. 
went and saw the movie "hero" with people yesterday. i didn't walk in expecting much, just cause i hadn't even heard of the movie until shortly before we set out to see it. was a really good movie though - i enjoyed it. and it was a minor delight for me to realize that i didn't have to look away from the fight scenes, as they concentrated largely on nifty wirework and were short on any actual gore. if i were motivated enough, i could probably numb and kill my wussdom. but sometimes wussdom seems like a comforting sort of thing to let oneself have. like some kind of furry pet.
had a great dream last night - it was a mixture of hero and kill bill and my family and getting ready for the dawning. was mostly as though broken sword's student, moon (from hero) had been stuck living with bill and beatrix (from kill bill) instead of broken sword and fallen snow (which would have sucked for her even more). was a natural overlap with my experiences of dealing with my parents, except that everything was much more straightforward because everyone was being very honest and open and singleminded and were set on killing each other. i spent a good deal of time in the passenger seat of a car being driven by the beatrix/falling snow character, trying to be ready to take over the wheel if bill in the backseat killed her while we speeding on the highway. was stressful. then we stopped in a gas station or somesuch and i went into the cramped little bathroom and used some black and tar-like substance to darken my eyelashes and eyebrows, and then i woke up. but for all of this, it really did feel like a good dream rather than a bad one.
lately i've been feeling more than ever like i want to bend people to my will. "all shall love me and despair" and all of that good stuff. i know it doesn't work to just turn off particular thoughts and feelings - the consequences of that aren't even as simple as chopping off limbs, because the connection persists. it doesn't work. but there are things i can't keep in the back of my mind. it pulls at me all the time. it's exhausting. it's like a perpetual nagging awareness that somewhere, you've left the oven on. really, is it any wonder i wish my house would just burn down already? i can't let it go.
am working on corset making. it goes slowly, but it goes. will do the commissioned website stuff later - today is my day.
went and saw the movie "hero" with people yesterday. i didn't walk in expecting much, just cause i hadn't even heard of the movie until shortly before we set out to see it. was a really good movie though - i enjoyed it. and it was a minor delight for me to realize that i didn't have to look away from the fight scenes, as they concentrated largely on nifty wirework and were short on any actual gore. if i were motivated enough, i could probably numb and kill my wussdom. but sometimes wussdom seems like a comforting sort of thing to let oneself have. like some kind of furry pet.
had a great dream last night - it was a mixture of hero and kill bill and my family and getting ready for the dawning. was mostly as though broken sword's student, moon (from hero) had been stuck living with bill and beatrix (from kill bill) instead of broken sword and fallen snow (which would have sucked for her even more). was a natural overlap with my experiences of dealing with my parents, except that everything was much more straightforward because everyone was being very honest and open and singleminded and were set on killing each other. i spent a good deal of time in the passenger seat of a car being driven by the beatrix/falling snow character, trying to be ready to take over the wheel if bill in the backseat killed her while we speeding on the highway. was stressful. then we stopped in a gas station or somesuch and i went into the cramped little bathroom and used some black and tar-like substance to darken my eyelashes and eyebrows, and then i woke up. but for all of this, it really did feel like a good dream rather than a bad one.
lately i've been feeling more than ever like i want to bend people to my will. "all shall love me and despair" and all of that good stuff. i know it doesn't work to just turn off particular thoughts and feelings - the consequences of that aren't even as simple as chopping off limbs, because the connection persists. it doesn't work. but there are things i can't keep in the back of my mind. it pulls at me all the time. it's exhausting. it's like a perpetual nagging awareness that somewhere, you've left the oven on. really, is it any wonder i wish my house would just burn down already? i can't let it go.
am working on corset making. it goes slowly, but it goes. will do the commissioned website stuff later - today is my day.
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The unfathomably uncool occurance that is causing me to reconsider my membership is that Lizbet is now archived
And yes, I am fully (and dangerously) aware that my accent is a powerful weapon against impressionable American girls... Now, do you think I use my special power for evil or for good?