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aubli

oak park, il (right outside chicago)

Member Since 2004

Followers 37 Following 22

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Monday Mar 15, 2004

Mar 15, 2004
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quick! write an entry and then do work! i'm so bad at this...

am a plagerizer, i steal nifty journal format-ness without shame or remorse:

(-) sadness instills in me a certain non-productivity coupled with lack of concern re: non-productivity. had to wake up at 7 this morning to do work i should have gotten done over break (or even just yesterday night) no problem. and i'm still doing my scattered "o, it'll all get done somehow, i can't be bothered right now, i'm busy feeling weird" thing, hence current entry. deperation = inspiration to me in these trying times - when it gets late enough i shall be moved to action. we are a fool!

(+) i got the job at darden! i am now a hired multimedia developer. go me.

(-) i am to lose my purple hair post-haste, as darden is a business corporation that needs to present a serious image. my very sneakers are in question. i may be wearing a lot fewer tank tops this summer than i'd hoped... i remember working at colonial williamsburg and going about in period costume all the time, and how ridiculously young and modern i felt on my days off when i was able to just slip into a pair of jeans (with a zipper!) instead of tying skirts about my waist, and could go about with my elbows - gasp, my entire upper arms! - exposed for all the world to see. i hope i can figure out suitably business-like attire for this that doesn't make my weekends smack of that same strange feeling of release... (incidentally - mixed signals - the fellow i'm replacing appears to wear mostly sweaters with courdorouys and sneakers. and i've gotten some slight encouragement to not mind the conservative atmosphere as closely as i might. will have to figure out my own balance, but i'm certainly gonna play it safe to start out with...)

(+) i'm going to get all manner of benefits that i don't even know about yet. i'm so bloody ignorant. but one of them is continued free access to all of uva's gym facilities, which pleases me greatly, as i was figuring i was just gonna have to pay for that extra (what can i say, i'm hooked). but no, it is mine at no extra charge! the pull-up is nigh! and my arms will continue to be cool, visible to the world or no.

(+/-) i'm bad at handling mixed emotions when i'm tired, and so i tend to busy myself with silly random stuff leading to more tiredness. am getting somewhat better at it, though. walked home from darden today and lay on a hillside for a while... when i was little-er i used to lie spread-eagle side by side on the frontroom carpet with xie and we'd concentrate really hard and try to feel the turning of the world beneath us, and being young we could... years later i realized that we'd always felt the world turning along the north-south axis, the wrong direction entirely. but today i lay on the grass awhile and closed my eyes and it felt like i was was turning round and round myself. and then i stared up into the sky and tried to see it as a place i could fall into if the world were ever to let go, and it was strangely soothing. saw a airplane go by far below me like a dustmote drifting in the belly of a drop of water, held there in the sky by nothing more than surface tension. i almost wish it was a sensation i could sustain when upright and moving around.

fatespawn's being sweet and hanging out with me to help me focus, so i need to get stuff done now so we can both get some sleep. goodnight!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
snaggle_puss:
5 days of 1 hr cardio kickboxing. 4 of those also weight training. 2 upper 2 lower. smile I started tonight. I am already dying.
Mar 16, 2004
xie:
it is my super-special shockface! i nicked it from the cosmicshame forum ... it is specially imported.. because i like it + i am lame like that. so it shockface's friend, smilerolly: .
and yes, i've heard the sad sad news about your hat. hmm, maybe you could dye the tips black, and then when you wear your hat, only the black will be visible... and i think it'd probably look nifty with black tips. biggrin
Mar 16, 2004

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