yesterday was awesome. =D both fatespawn and i have no classes friday, so the evening was truly weekend-like. we played video games and ordered in yummy food and watched movies - UHF and blade runner, which were *quite* a unique combo, lol - and slept in really late this morning. *happy sigh*
i'm going to have to focus this weekend and i'm truly dreading it. have a 7-9 page philosophy paper due on the nature of our experiences of color - it ought to be a silly little thing, practically enjoyable to plan out and easy to write. but i haven't been able to focus the way i used to... for long time...the past two years at least. is a thing that bothers me and that i try not to think about too much. i used to be able to get into this lovely academic-paper writing "zone" in which i was centered and productive and had all those glorious feelings one would associate with being on a roll - ideas would flow and i'd type and cut and paste and edit. now i write two sentences and go off to the bathroom, or for something to eat, or think about working out or working on something else. it's not like i was always like this. there was a time when i had an attention span of steel. i don't know what happened and i suppose i could try and force it but it isn't the same.
doesn't help that the art project i'm trying to knock out today is being twarted by a drying-out permanent marker, which is not even my own. so perhaps now i'll need to go out and buy *two* permanent markers - one for myself and one to replace this lent husk. such a bother!
IMed by the ex-boyfriendish person. have noticed - there are certain people i don't call by their names. not just in journals, because i suppose that's only polite and i ought to be more careful of names in general, but in real life, too. has happened to me twice that i've referred to somebody indirectly and the person i was talking to blinked, and said, "uh, do you mean *so-and-so*?" and then i have this moment of shock while i realize that we both know the person's name and the reason i don't refer to them by it is because i don't think of them in terms of their name - i think of them only indirectly myself. and so yes, when i say the ex-boyfriendish person, that is truly what i mean.
is a kind of emphatic mental pushing-away, i guess. even in the privacy of my own head there are some people with whom i want to maintain maximum distance.
but yes, am only just realizing that his buddy icon has begun to bother me. my buddy icon is an close-up image of part of my face, centered on my left eye, with everything grey and drawing-like except the light blue iris. the ex-boyfriendish person asked me if he might mimic it, and without thinking twice about it i said sure, so now whenever he IMs i see his poorly photoshopped deep blue eye staring at me out of a desaturated part-of-his-face. eh...
o! and yesterday fatespawn and i also watched the various anti-bush ads at www.bushin30seconds.org... they were really, really well done, and scared the hell out of me (especially one of the youth finalist ads,"al keyda"). i'd already heard about moveon (and their ad that didn't get played during the superbowl because it was "too controversial"!?) and so i was really glad to be able to see them first-hand. i'd forgotten all the crazy stuff that'd been going on even before this latest ridiculousness about changing the constitution came up... anyway, go there yourself and check the ads out - some of them are funny, most of them are scary, and all of them are well done.
and then today i started reading "ishmael," which scarily enough seems to dovetail nicely with some of the concerns voiced in the ads. is an excellent book so far and another thing to tempt me from my schoolwork. but important too! is schoolwork to read it for fatespawn's class (a class i dropped) so you see, it is quality.
and always more pleasant to do somebody else's homework instead of your own. and now that i'm done updating, i'm off downstairs to watch full metal alchemist with fatespawn. and then perhaps i'll go to the bookstore and buy permanent markers? and then, perhaps, i'll get some work done?
i'm going to have to focus this weekend and i'm truly dreading it. have a 7-9 page philosophy paper due on the nature of our experiences of color - it ought to be a silly little thing, practically enjoyable to plan out and easy to write. but i haven't been able to focus the way i used to... for long time...the past two years at least. is a thing that bothers me and that i try not to think about too much. i used to be able to get into this lovely academic-paper writing "zone" in which i was centered and productive and had all those glorious feelings one would associate with being on a roll - ideas would flow and i'd type and cut and paste and edit. now i write two sentences and go off to the bathroom, or for something to eat, or think about working out or working on something else. it's not like i was always like this. there was a time when i had an attention span of steel. i don't know what happened and i suppose i could try and force it but it isn't the same.
doesn't help that the art project i'm trying to knock out today is being twarted by a drying-out permanent marker, which is not even my own. so perhaps now i'll need to go out and buy *two* permanent markers - one for myself and one to replace this lent husk. such a bother!
IMed by the ex-boyfriendish person. have noticed - there are certain people i don't call by their names. not just in journals, because i suppose that's only polite and i ought to be more careful of names in general, but in real life, too. has happened to me twice that i've referred to somebody indirectly and the person i was talking to blinked, and said, "uh, do you mean *so-and-so*?" and then i have this moment of shock while i realize that we both know the person's name and the reason i don't refer to them by it is because i don't think of them in terms of their name - i think of them only indirectly myself. and so yes, when i say the ex-boyfriendish person, that is truly what i mean.
is a kind of emphatic mental pushing-away, i guess. even in the privacy of my own head there are some people with whom i want to maintain maximum distance.
but yes, am only just realizing that his buddy icon has begun to bother me. my buddy icon is an close-up image of part of my face, centered on my left eye, with everything grey and drawing-like except the light blue iris. the ex-boyfriendish person asked me if he might mimic it, and without thinking twice about it i said sure, so now whenever he IMs i see his poorly photoshopped deep blue eye staring at me out of a desaturated part-of-his-face. eh...
o! and yesterday fatespawn and i also watched the various anti-bush ads at www.bushin30seconds.org... they were really, really well done, and scared the hell out of me (especially one of the youth finalist ads,"al keyda"). i'd already heard about moveon (and their ad that didn't get played during the superbowl because it was "too controversial"!?) and so i was really glad to be able to see them first-hand. i'd forgotten all the crazy stuff that'd been going on even before this latest ridiculousness about changing the constitution came up... anyway, go there yourself and check the ads out - some of them are funny, most of them are scary, and all of them are well done.
and then today i started reading "ishmael," which scarily enough seems to dovetail nicely with some of the concerns voiced in the ads. is an excellent book so far and another thing to tempt me from my schoolwork. but important too! is schoolwork to read it for fatespawn's class (a class i dropped) so you see, it is quality.
and always more pleasant to do somebody else's homework instead of your own. and now that i'm done updating, i'm off downstairs to watch full metal alchemist with fatespawn. and then perhaps i'll go to the bookstore and buy permanent markers? and then, perhaps, i'll get some work done?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
drpirate:
For your paper you should use the color SGPink 
can you block the ex's IM? well my dear, I wish you a "It just can't get any better than this weekend" if possible 
For your paper you should use the color SGPink can you block the ex's IM? well my dear, I wish you a "It just can't get any better than this weekend" if possible 
myeviltwin:
glad you like the pic! Yeah, I was really happy that day. Much fun was had. It was taken by angelfrost the day we met. 