atticusgray

Hey All,

Thanks again for all the b-day comments. I appreciate it. It's hard to believe we've already spent another month. Fucking crazy how life moves at times.

I really have to update my picture, so I'll get on that the next few weeks. This one is kinda old. There's so much I have to get into gear for this summer.

A lot feels different this year. In some ways good, and in others not so good. What is life without balance though? I've been thinking a lot about how much I'd like to begin another relationship with someone, but then on the flip side to that I remember how sour everything went the last time.

Deception and lies... deception and more lies. And the burns that were left when all was said and done. When these memories come to surface, I fall into confusion. I want to feel something, but don't know if I should allow it to happen.

I am alone, and as anyone knows being in "alone" streaks isn't much fun. You miss having someone to share experiences with. To do things with. To hold on to. But what you do not miss is the hurt that comes with all of it in the end.

And against the flames of loneliness, the fire of losing someone you come to love burns a thousand times hotter. My world may be lonely, but it is secure now. No one can tear it apart again. But there's still a small part of me inside, that wants to try again. And it's between these two sides of me that I am caught.

Women are beautiful. Women can change a man's world like nothing else can. Women inspire me in a lot of ways. But they scare me in so many more.

- A. Gray