What is a friend? A person to talk to; to hang out with; to have be there in your time of need? I'm sure someone could find their own definition of what constitutes a friend out of the things listed above, but suffice it to say just about everyone has a friend. From the eighty-five year old man that plays golf with the same buddies everyday for the last forty years to the seven year old girl who's vivid imagination can conjure up a companion to play with.
While friendships are no doubt good things to have in one's life there is always a flip side to the coin. A fair-weather friend is quite the opposite. They aren't there to talk to; to hang out with; to have be there in your time of need... well at least not when you want them to be. You see a fair-weather friend is a person who is your friend on their terms and their terms only. The Urban Dictionary defines a "fair-weather" friend as:
"A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you. "
While this definition is for the most part accurate, I'd like to focus this blog on the first sentence of this definition. We live in a society that is not entirely, but mostly driven by fame, success, money and power. Those four things all mash together in some areas, but at one time or another we do look out for number 1.
I'm sure that at this point you are no doubt thinking that I'm making very broad generalizations about society and to you, Mr. John and Jane Q reader, I'm not. There are always exceptions to anything. Besides if you doubt what I'm saying, turn on a television and watch a movie, a tv show or even the nightly news and you can see for yourself that people have a personal agenda.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against the pursuit of one's dreams or goals but I think that on this journey that we call life, we meet people along the way, forge relationships with those people and over time strengthen those connections with shared experiences. There are pending circumstances that force these relationships to fade and grow distant, like moving across country for instance.
The fair-weather friend has dreams and goals of their own and instead of having friends for the sake of having a healthy and strong connection with someone they have these people in their life that they use for to further their own agenda. I'm sure that you all can think of at least one person you have come across in life that would fit the title of fair-weather friend.
I know that was quite the lengthy prologue to this blog but I thought I should lay the foundation before writing. Lately I have seen many of my friends turn into fair-weather friends and it kills me. These people were my heart, mind and soul for many difficult years in the past and now I'm nothing more than a name in a phone directory to them.
One person in particular is really hurting me with each passing day. This person used to be someone I could rely on when I needed to talk to them about what has been happening in my life. I thought that at this significant juncture with the Army coming up and some issues with my family, I could turn to them for advice. Alas after repeated attempts of communication it seems as if its a way one way street. Sure they will get a hold of me when they need me for some frivolous reason, and of course I will oblige because I'm a "nice guy" but that is a whole other blog entry.
At what point do I give up all hope and walk away from many long conversations, many shared experiences and many memories with this person. It's like being asked to cut off a part of yourself on short notice. Its not easy to do but sometimes I wonder if walking away now would save me more pain down the road.
In the place that I am in, I have no friends in this town I can turn to when I need them. Any sort of "friend" that I have is at least two hours away and a phone call isn't always the best method of communication. I cherish any connection that I have and when I feel like I'm being walked all over like a dirty rug, then I start to question myself as a whole.
To those of you out there still reading, take the time to appreciate those in your life. Pick up a phone, send an email. You'll be glad you did. Sometimes the best conversations you have are with those you haven't spoken with in a long time.
Until next time.
While friendships are no doubt good things to have in one's life there is always a flip side to the coin. A fair-weather friend is quite the opposite. They aren't there to talk to; to hang out with; to have be there in your time of need... well at least not when you want them to be. You see a fair-weather friend is a person who is your friend on their terms and their terms only. The Urban Dictionary defines a "fair-weather" friend as:
"A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you. "
While this definition is for the most part accurate, I'd like to focus this blog on the first sentence of this definition. We live in a society that is not entirely, but mostly driven by fame, success, money and power. Those four things all mash together in some areas, but at one time or another we do look out for number 1.
I'm sure that at this point you are no doubt thinking that I'm making very broad generalizations about society and to you, Mr. John and Jane Q reader, I'm not. There are always exceptions to anything. Besides if you doubt what I'm saying, turn on a television and watch a movie, a tv show or even the nightly news and you can see for yourself that people have a personal agenda.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against the pursuit of one's dreams or goals but I think that on this journey that we call life, we meet people along the way, forge relationships with those people and over time strengthen those connections with shared experiences. There are pending circumstances that force these relationships to fade and grow distant, like moving across country for instance.
The fair-weather friend has dreams and goals of their own and instead of having friends for the sake of having a healthy and strong connection with someone they have these people in their life that they use for to further their own agenda. I'm sure that you all can think of at least one person you have come across in life that would fit the title of fair-weather friend.
I know that was quite the lengthy prologue to this blog but I thought I should lay the foundation before writing. Lately I have seen many of my friends turn into fair-weather friends and it kills me. These people were my heart, mind and soul for many difficult years in the past and now I'm nothing more than a name in a phone directory to them.
One person in particular is really hurting me with each passing day. This person used to be someone I could rely on when I needed to talk to them about what has been happening in my life. I thought that at this significant juncture with the Army coming up and some issues with my family, I could turn to them for advice. Alas after repeated attempts of communication it seems as if its a way one way street. Sure they will get a hold of me when they need me for some frivolous reason, and of course I will oblige because I'm a "nice guy" but that is a whole other blog entry.
At what point do I give up all hope and walk away from many long conversations, many shared experiences and many memories with this person. It's like being asked to cut off a part of yourself on short notice. Its not easy to do but sometimes I wonder if walking away now would save me more pain down the road.
In the place that I am in, I have no friends in this town I can turn to when I need them. Any sort of "friend" that I have is at least two hours away and a phone call isn't always the best method of communication. I cherish any connection that I have and when I feel like I'm being walked all over like a dirty rug, then I start to question myself as a whole.
To those of you out there still reading, take the time to appreciate those in your life. Pick up a phone, send an email. You'll be glad you did. Sometimes the best conversations you have are with those you haven't spoken with in a long time.
Until next time.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
preciouspayne:
I am your friend!! 
theemmastation:
i like this 