atti

So its 6am and once again I'm still awake, sitting in chat with just the thoughts racing through my mind to keep me company. I was thinking tonight about how I am really quite upset with where I am with my life right now. I know that I have full control over my destiny and that no one really can motivate me to do anything except myself. It's just tough to think about what I want to do and actually putting that plan into action. I suppose its the inner conflict that has been waging war in my mind for the past 18 months. Its almost a stalemate. Almost. Some days there are times when I feel my motivated self breaking through the front lines and actually making some headway in the struggle. But there is something always tripping my feet up, like untied shoe-laces. Its really annoying and I think that if I was a normal person that I would be a lot happier than I am right now. Then again the term "normal" is relative. What exactly do we measure normalness against? Even Jesus wasn't normal, he was a perfect human being according to the Bible. I'm sure as Hell not going to measure myself against him because it wouldn't be fair. Just like "Grandma's Boy" says... "this is like if Mike Tyson fought an infant". Yeah... think about it