Anyway, when I got home tonight, I reached into my pocket to grab something - no, not that, and get your mind out of the gutter - and found the slip of paper, which I had forgotten about. On a whim, I decided to read it, and here's what it said:
"Jesus says in Matthew 7:21 in the Bible, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kindgom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my father who is in heaven. We must obey him!!"
Needless to say, it didn't take long for my good vibe to dissipate, and the void it left was quickly filled with regret that I didn't throw something heavy and pointed at the bitch when I had the chance. 
What's really funny is that if she had read the chapter before the one she quoted from, I might never have gotten that bible verse from her, assuming that she actually took it to heart. This is what she would have read:
1. Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4. That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5. And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
See, that's the problem with Christians - they don't follow the teachings of Christ. 
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Which brings me to:
Things I Hate, Volume II:
8) Cafeteria Christians. You know, the fundies aggravate the piss out of me, but they at least are committed full-hilt to what they believe in. Cafeteria Christians, on the other hand, want all the positive trappings of religion - the sense of community, the satisfaction of not being marginalized by the Christian majority, the hope that goes along with belief in heaven - all the positives, without having to do the heavy lifting. "Yeah," they say, "the bible says that you're not supposed to eat pork, or have gay sex, or ________, but that's the Old Testament, and that was meant for the Jews. Christians follow the New Testament." Or they'll give some watered-down interpretation of biblical dictates that doesn't bind them to anything, or claim that it's all allegorical, or...well, whatever it takes to keep from having to put themselves out any. They're like the religious version of DLC Democrats, always triangulating themselves out of an uncomfortable situation.
9) Corporate radio. Almost everything that is wrong with American music in the 21st century can be linked to companies like Clear Channel and Infinity, with their cookie-cutter radio stations and relentless overplay of mediocre, non-threatening pablum. We can only hope that satellite radio will lead music out of the darkness that it has currently fallen under.
10) Republicans. Hypocrites who whine about "liberal/intellectual elitists" while pursuing policies designed to perpetuate an economic elite; and who blather on about supporting freedom because they promote the right of corporations to operate as they see fit without any regard for the safety or best interests of the people, while at the same time opposing real freedom, the right of people to live and function as individuals. I could go on, but I'd probably just be repeating a lot of stuff that I've already said elsewhere.
Yeah, this'll be a long list... 
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On a happier note, the tooth has been feeling better the last couple of days. I'm still going to eventually have to have my wisdom teeth out, especially the one that's been giving me trouble. But at this point, I'll take whatever small victories I can get. 
