Today I went to go see my Pentecostal aunt today up in Paris (the small town up near the Red River here in Texas, not the much larger and vastly more entertaining city by the Seine in France). Observations:
1) Fuck.
2) Every time I see my aunt, she gets weirder and more bigoted. We had a nice, long conversation this afternoon about my nephew, who lives in New Hampshire with his sister. He is openly gay, which, according to my aunt, is proof that he is possessed by demons. Yes, that's right folks: if a demon enters your body, it will cause you to love showtunes, develop an impeccable sense for fashion, and crave cock like it's going out of style. Unless you're a woman, that is, in which case you will develop an undying affinity for flannel and clit.
3) I am deeply conflicted about my aunt and her husband. On one hand, if you remove the religious dementia, they're really nice people, even if they do put off that Stepford vibe. Then, on the other hand, there's the religious dementia. On one hand, they are both very ill and might not be alive much longer. My uncle has leukemia and has taken a recent turn for the worse, while my aunt has a bad heart and worse nerves (go figure, huh?). They are both suffering, and the knowledge of this causes me emotional pain that I'm not sure I can even articulate adequately. On the other hand, they are both deeply bigoted people who embody everything I hate about the red state mentality.
My uncle and aunt were two of the very few people who didn't completely give up on my mother during her bad years (she was an active heroin addict for about a decade, and that is a subject for another post or twelve). They are also two of the many people who did give up on my nephew when he came out of my closet. My aunt has never used the word "nigger" that I'm aware of, but you can just feel it hanging on the end of her forked tongue every time she talks about African-Americans. She has also taught Sunday school classes for mentally challenged children, and never once said or indicated anything but love for those children. Yep: deeply, deeply conflicted about her and her husband. Just like I am about the rest of the human race. And certain rodent species. The ones crawling around in my attic, for example.
4) If they carpet-bombed every square inch of Texas with nukes until the ground glowed, they would certainly wipe out all life, most artificial structures, and quite a bit of the terrain, but they still wouldn't quite eliminate the stench of fundamentalist stupidity. You'd still be able to step across the border, sniff around a little bit, and say to yourself, "Yeah, there used to be fundies here." And then your internal organs would melt, and you'd die. Because of all the radiation, natch.
5) Whatever we all might feel about hippies, the French, aggies, Republicans, Democrats, Ralph Nader, people who voted for Ralph Nader, people who didn't vote, people who don't have the hand-eye coordination needed to manage a punch-card ballot and who therefore shouldn't vote, PETA members, people who listen to Nickelback, Paris Hilton, Star Jones, bureaucrats, corporate drones, or any of the other people or groups that regularly get scapegoated in our popular culture, I'm sure we can all agree that the source of all evil in the world is in fact that group of people known as rednecks.
6) Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
**************************************
I have no idea whether or not I'll get to post before the new year, so in case I don't, please have a happy one, and at the top of your resolution list, put something about making the world a better place by working to promote social justice and eliminate the pain and suffering in the world, or at least as much of it as is within our power to address. Start working toward this resolution by giving whatever you can to one of the many charities helping out in South Asia. Continue working toward this resolution by helping to build a viable and effective progressive movement to counter the right-wing loons runnign things right now. And don't get so wrapped up in doing this stuff that you forget to love the people in your life who really matter to you. Money is the root of all evil, but love is the root of all good, and as powerful as money is, it can never buy you love.
It might help you rent it for a few hours, but...
Auld Lang Syne, motherfuckers!
1) Fuck.
2) Every time I see my aunt, she gets weirder and more bigoted. We had a nice, long conversation this afternoon about my nephew, who lives in New Hampshire with his sister. He is openly gay, which, according to my aunt, is proof that he is possessed by demons. Yes, that's right folks: if a demon enters your body, it will cause you to love showtunes, develop an impeccable sense for fashion, and crave cock like it's going out of style. Unless you're a woman, that is, in which case you will develop an undying affinity for flannel and clit.
3) I am deeply conflicted about my aunt and her husband. On one hand, if you remove the religious dementia, they're really nice people, even if they do put off that Stepford vibe. Then, on the other hand, there's the religious dementia. On one hand, they are both very ill and might not be alive much longer. My uncle has leukemia and has taken a recent turn for the worse, while my aunt has a bad heart and worse nerves (go figure, huh?). They are both suffering, and the knowledge of this causes me emotional pain that I'm not sure I can even articulate adequately. On the other hand, they are both deeply bigoted people who embody everything I hate about the red state mentality.
My uncle and aunt were two of the very few people who didn't completely give up on my mother during her bad years (she was an active heroin addict for about a decade, and that is a subject for another post or twelve). They are also two of the many people who did give up on my nephew when he came out of my closet. My aunt has never used the word "nigger" that I'm aware of, but you can just feel it hanging on the end of her forked tongue every time she talks about African-Americans. She has also taught Sunday school classes for mentally challenged children, and never once said or indicated anything but love for those children. Yep: deeply, deeply conflicted about her and her husband. Just like I am about the rest of the human race. And certain rodent species. The ones crawling around in my attic, for example.
4) If they carpet-bombed every square inch of Texas with nukes until the ground glowed, they would certainly wipe out all life, most artificial structures, and quite a bit of the terrain, but they still wouldn't quite eliminate the stench of fundamentalist stupidity. You'd still be able to step across the border, sniff around a little bit, and say to yourself, "Yeah, there used to be fundies here." And then your internal organs would melt, and you'd die. Because of all the radiation, natch.
5) Whatever we all might feel about hippies, the French, aggies, Republicans, Democrats, Ralph Nader, people who voted for Ralph Nader, people who didn't vote, people who don't have the hand-eye coordination needed to manage a punch-card ballot and who therefore shouldn't vote, PETA members, people who listen to Nickelback, Paris Hilton, Star Jones, bureaucrats, corporate drones, or any of the other people or groups that regularly get scapegoated in our popular culture, I'm sure we can all agree that the source of all evil in the world is in fact that group of people known as rednecks.
6) Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
**************************************
I have no idea whether or not I'll get to post before the new year, so in case I don't, please have a happy one, and at the top of your resolution list, put something about making the world a better place by working to promote social justice and eliminate the pain and suffering in the world, or at least as much of it as is within our power to address. Start working toward this resolution by giving whatever you can to one of the many charities helping out in South Asia. Continue working toward this resolution by helping to build a viable and effective progressive movement to counter the right-wing loons runnign things right now. And don't get so wrapped up in doing this stuff that you forget to love the people in your life who really matter to you. Money is the root of all evil, but love is the root of all good, and as powerful as money is, it can never buy you love.
It might help you rent it for a few hours, but...
Auld Lang Syne, motherfuckers!VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I forgot about the fcc song. BBC america was running a python marathon yesterday it was awesome!
"cuidado los llamas!"