atak

id like to think i feel calm, half in the bag, as it were. somehow i fall short and end up somewhere between depressed and anxious. all of my friends from college were here last weekend and after their departure i am left with the striking reality that i really have no concrete friends in this place. im fine with that. some people function better alone. some human contact other than casual bar acquaintances seem quintescential to keeping sanity, however. i need a hug. or maybe a long talk with my mother. did you ever wonder what you would look like when you were older as a child? id like to see that childs face as he looks through time to see what he is bound by circumstance to become as a man. i feel sorry for him. but then...looks aren't everything.