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asvetic

Member Since 2002

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Wednesday Mar 31, 2004

Mar 30, 2004
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Thanks everyone for your heartfelt input. A lot of really good points were present and I appreciate them all. I think the one that caught my eye that I never really considered was the level of emotional maturity. Reason being is I don't know how mature I am honestly. We've talked about our past relationships and from what I've pieced together it sounds like she's been dating since she was 6. I myself have only been dating for the past 7 years. She's had something like 2 long term and I've had none (anything over a year is what I'd consider long term). Actually, she just got out of a pretty long term relationship with a guy who lived in Philly, so they also had a long distance relationship. I know, I'm the rebound guy. That doesn't really matter much or atleast I don't think it does. I like her and want to make this work. She is so cool about things, she's hot, she's smart, and we both have the same humor. There's a few pet peeves of mine she has, but I can look passed them, their minor. But I feel like the progression is choppy. I want to communicate more with her, but she's still kinda bottled up. I'm trying to be understanding and let things come as they will, but I have a patience problem (I lack any). Someone tell me all relationships are difference and that I'm a good guy, I'm feeling abit doubty. confused
emilygee:
No problem at all. I think I will be able to see Cursive twice as well... possible three times (if I only had the money.) I will not be going to Coachella. There are no ins and outs... huge sweaty crowds... you don't get as close to the band as you'd like... all that jazz. I'm going to be seeing them at a smaller venue in Hollywood. I'm pretty stoked. There some weird two degree seperation between Tim Kasher and I that I'm going to try and work when they're in town. I'd love to meet him. We'll see.

Your girl sounds (despite the accolades) like she's going into this whole thing pretty lukewarm. Let her do her thing -- be patient (I know, it sucks, I have the same impetuous-ness bug) -- and you'll see where it's heading. Either you'll both start to really dig each other in equal quantities, or not. If she acts rash, recall that she is only 18. Remember 18? It sucked. I certainly wasn't even half the human being I am now at 18. A lot happens in the 6-7 years of your early twenties. Am I rambling? I think perhaps I am...

Then again, the ol' circle yes, no or maybe note worked pretty well back then. Go for it. wink
Mar 31, 2004
emilygee:
Hey, listen. Relationships and dating are not supposed to be so anxiety ridden. It always sucks if someone does not reciprocate feelings, but sometimes that happens. Also, sometimes the other person is not so hot at conveying exactly what they are feeling and that anxiety can ultimately hurt what could be a great fledgling relationship. I think you also need to realize that if this girl doesn't work out, there will certainly be more. Relationships are not supposed to be there to rescue you from situations (that turns into co-dependency), but rather as a way to accentuate yourself as you already are and even assist you in becoming a better individual. Never lose you sense of self. Certainly rejection is an ego-slam... but this girl hasn't rejected you at all yet. It seems that you are entering into this relationship expecting that and trying to do everything possible to ensure that that will not happen. Why try? You have her right now. If she at all senses the kind of rejection anxiety that you are feeling, that may plant the seed in her head. Or, it may make you come across and unsure of yourself or even needy. Girls generally don't stick around if they feel like they are not on a level playing field with the person they are dating. Simply, be you. Don't be this-girl's-boyfriend or the-guy-this-girl-seems-to-want-to-date or anything else except yourself. If she doesn't like you, fuck her. If she does, all the better. There are millions of girls out there. I'm sure that in your lifetime you'll find more than a few that fit your mold. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and take a deep breath. If you get caught in the details you'll forget what you were looking for in the first place.

I should take my own advice. I hope the above is not too rambly and make a little sense...
Apr 1, 2004

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