It's time for nice, normal journal entry. My last was extremely drunk and therefore quite stupid. Nice and normal... right. I could rant a bit about stuff, I could write an essay or something... Let's see.
It's strange now. As a person born with South East Asian parents (I usually say 'oriental', but some people take offence to that.) it's quite weird to see how our culture has infiltrated. When I was a kid it was quite tough for me. There was racism, and there was a lot of bullying of the 'asian' kid but you kind of got used to it and made me into a better person I think. Living in London, I don't get any of that now, especially as I'm often in Soho or Chinatown. it's weird how everything 'Japanese' has got into fashion all of a sudden as well. With 'Hello Kitty' and all the cutesy stuff a lot of people kind of get obsessed with it, which is funny when then don't actually know any Japanese people! I loved that manga and anime stuff when I was a kid. I was obsessed with 'Dragonball Z' for a time and I still love the stuff even though I'm 23 years old for god sake! Oh and Sushi. It's lovely stuff. My mother can make it really well which is cool. Though I have to say thai food is the best. I can make a mean stir-fry - even though I would have to say anybody can make a mean stir-fry provided they had the right stuff to put n it.
I've got an Ipod now. I've always tried to keep myself from being sucked in but I bought it and fell in love with the damn thing it's so white and cute and easy to use. And the thing when you roll your fingers over it is great. Though when I turn the volume up and down and do that circular motion with your finger my friend laughed at what i was doing. Apparently it was quite suggestive when I did it. hmm. Anyway because I blew most of my monthly wage on the thing I haven't been able to go out at all because I have not got any money. But i did download the whole depeche mode and cure back catalog illegally which was pretty time consuming. I downloaded 1 sg video as well and very pretty it was too. The girl in it is gorgeous, cute and her personality shines through it.
I watched 'Human Traffic' recently and got very depressed because it make me realised how fun pills were. Of course they messed me up completely because I took them for so long but I love that artificial feeling of love for everybody. It's not something that you can understand or even talk about with me if you haven't taken them. But on the whole normality is dull. It's work, home and if you're lucky and in a couple - regular monotonous sex. That''s why I do like being a couple of notches above it. Sure all it is is a chemical reaction in your brain where the serotonin levels increase to make you happy but nobody ever said that's a bad thing. Everybody drinks but most of the time that just gets you grumpy and depressed. At least with pills you'll have a night of fun before getting grumpy and depressed in the morning!
somebody told me that marriage is the best feeling in the world. hmm. so that would mean divorce should be the worst feeling in the world? ha. just like pills then really. (no, no,no i didn't mean it). I've never been in the position yet to ever experience that kind of desire yet to commit to one person for the rest of my life. I've love and loved someone enough that I would do anything i could for them, but not the love forsaking all others kind of thing. maybe I've just been unlucky or something. i'm thinking about this because it's valentines day tomorrow and the card companies are going to make their annual profit again. for the first time in 2 or 3 years i've got nobody to say 'i love you', bring out the cards and chocolates and have the 'i love you so much' sex. oh well. i don't miss it really. not as much as the drugs anyway.
It's strange now. As a person born with South East Asian parents (I usually say 'oriental', but some people take offence to that.) it's quite weird to see how our culture has infiltrated. When I was a kid it was quite tough for me. There was racism, and there was a lot of bullying of the 'asian' kid but you kind of got used to it and made me into a better person I think. Living in London, I don't get any of that now, especially as I'm often in Soho or Chinatown. it's weird how everything 'Japanese' has got into fashion all of a sudden as well. With 'Hello Kitty' and all the cutesy stuff a lot of people kind of get obsessed with it, which is funny when then don't actually know any Japanese people! I loved that manga and anime stuff when I was a kid. I was obsessed with 'Dragonball Z' for a time and I still love the stuff even though I'm 23 years old for god sake! Oh and Sushi. It's lovely stuff. My mother can make it really well which is cool. Though I have to say thai food is the best. I can make a mean stir-fry - even though I would have to say anybody can make a mean stir-fry provided they had the right stuff to put n it.
I've got an Ipod now. I've always tried to keep myself from being sucked in but I bought it and fell in love with the damn thing it's so white and cute and easy to use. And the thing when you roll your fingers over it is great. Though when I turn the volume up and down and do that circular motion with your finger my friend laughed at what i was doing. Apparently it was quite suggestive when I did it. hmm. Anyway because I blew most of my monthly wage on the thing I haven't been able to go out at all because I have not got any money. But i did download the whole depeche mode and cure back catalog illegally which was pretty time consuming. I downloaded 1 sg video as well and very pretty it was too. The girl in it is gorgeous, cute and her personality shines through it.
I watched 'Human Traffic' recently and got very depressed because it make me realised how fun pills were. Of course they messed me up completely because I took them for so long but I love that artificial feeling of love for everybody. It's not something that you can understand or even talk about with me if you haven't taken them. But on the whole normality is dull. It's work, home and if you're lucky and in a couple - regular monotonous sex. That''s why I do like being a couple of notches above it. Sure all it is is a chemical reaction in your brain where the serotonin levels increase to make you happy but nobody ever said that's a bad thing. Everybody drinks but most of the time that just gets you grumpy and depressed. At least with pills you'll have a night of fun before getting grumpy and depressed in the morning!
somebody told me that marriage is the best feeling in the world. hmm. so that would mean divorce should be the worst feeling in the world? ha. just like pills then really. (no, no,no i didn't mean it). I've never been in the position yet to ever experience that kind of desire yet to commit to one person for the rest of my life. I've love and loved someone enough that I would do anything i could for them, but not the love forsaking all others kind of thing. maybe I've just been unlucky or something. i'm thinking about this because it's valentines day tomorrow and the card companies are going to make their annual profit again. for the first time in 2 or 3 years i've got nobody to say 'i love you', bring out the cards and chocolates and have the 'i love you so much' sex. oh well. i don't miss it really. not as much as the drugs anyway.
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I'm not sure where it is that I go wrong.