ashen_crib

despair settles into the shallow repeat
of my breath
as i listen
for hope's soft tread
on hardwood floor dreams
waiting
i am
weighted
as i wade through the muck of
dress code smiles
flicked on florescent
and fake
obligations churn through my body
like bloody gears
that turn my veins into dream catchers
gone wrong
i am blind
cursed to see inward visions of...
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merry christmas to all!

so i'm back. it's been a really .... REALLY long time since i've done much of anything here in SGland but for whatever reason it feels right to update my profile and start writing and contributing a bit back and also to see the lovely suicidegirls themselves.

wow. has it actually been over 4 months since i've friggin updated my SG journal?! holy crapping monkeys batman!

my life has been all over the place lately. we are finally starting to crack down on the apartment, trying to whip our rooms into shape. it's hard to reorganize everything you own though. it's a little freaky to realize just how much CRAP you've acummulated...
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I finally got my desk organized at work!! That's right folks, this boy here went out to STAPLES and bought all the fixins....file folders, thumb-tacks, post-its, tape, and inboxes galore. I keep pysching myself out when it comes to getting organized but once I do I go all out and usually it makes me feel TONS better. It's like an all or nothing thing for...
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i'm very happy...why? because i have the EE of the Lord of the Rings : Return of the King that's why! where to begin?! well they added in the scenes i wanted them to (Saruman kicks ass) not too mention the little details that made me go "oh THAT'S why that edit seemed a little weird". All in all the extras are so worth it....
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everybody please send your good energy to my girlie 'cause she is really really sickly and needs healthy vibes so that she can kick ass and take names posthaste.

thank you all.

p.s. my baby = jora

it's difficult to admit sometimes how much a single person changes you. the subconscious rambles on like an old fashioned jail cart that carries the riff-raff of memory and self-speculation on a circuit of our inner sanctum letting the chaotic voices echo off of our eardrums weaving a discordant symphony that we've become used to enjoying. around and around the voices have traveled. sharp deceptions...
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christmas is coming up so soon!! i need to get up off my butt and shop for all my lov-ed ones. this year i'm really excited because nicole is coming down to phoenix with me to have christmas with my old friends. it's been a few months since i've seen them last and i guess i'm still a bit "homesick" or rather "friendsick" since my...
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i've been in kind of a weird funk lately. it's weird. everything is going well in my life but i've been super sensitive to everything and my self esteem seems to be lower than usual. i need to get out of this but i'm not sure how to do it.

anyways. in other news, tonight is the season finale of survivor!!! i cannot wait to...
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I am an expert mold removal guy.

life goes on
redefining beauty
despite my clumsy attempts
to hold onto
rose-petal pastlives

i talked to my old man on thanksgiving. that was a good move on my part. we were both cordial throughout the conversation even when the inevitable confrontation happened. i like being mature and grown up. who would have thunk? y'know with all of the stress and crap, being a grown...
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