Why does the one person that actually gets me have to live eight hours away? I finally got him back as a friend because that stupid cunt of a girlfriend cheated on him. And all I want to do is hold on to him and spend days just hole up talking to him.
What little bit I have talked to him, I've just let everything fly. I don't like to call him though. I don't want to be a bother. I email him and whatever on facebook. Its kinda a cowardly way of doing things. But I've just got knocked on my ass and he has too. So I'm trying to mind my boundaries.
But at the same time, I keep saying things. I want him to know, at least on a platonic level, how much he means to me. I want to coddle him and and pick him back up from the ashes. Let him know that there are people that care about him. That he doesn't deserve the hurting he's going through. That his mind and his heart are the reasons I care about him. That I'm there for him no matter what and I'm not just saying that as an attempt to get into his pants.
The sexual aspect, its nice. Its no secret that I'm attracted to him. We've had our kisses and whatever. I like them. Its fun. But if it were all gone tomorrow, I wouldn't care. Its the content of his character and the fact that I can talk to him and not have to explain myself that really matters to me.
I'm scared shitless that everything I say has the potential of scaring him off. People leave me so easily. I'm getting that complex that I'm easily thrown away. People swoop in, use me for what they want, and then I never hear from them again. Maybe they pop up a few more times, but its always the same results.
I don't know if my heart could take having him leave my life a third time.
What little bit I have talked to him, I've just let everything fly. I don't like to call him though. I don't want to be a bother. I email him and whatever on facebook. Its kinda a cowardly way of doing things. But I've just got knocked on my ass and he has too. So I'm trying to mind my boundaries.
But at the same time, I keep saying things. I want him to know, at least on a platonic level, how much he means to me. I want to coddle him and and pick him back up from the ashes. Let him know that there are people that care about him. That he doesn't deserve the hurting he's going through. That his mind and his heart are the reasons I care about him. That I'm there for him no matter what and I'm not just saying that as an attempt to get into his pants.
The sexual aspect, its nice. Its no secret that I'm attracted to him. We've had our kisses and whatever. I like them. Its fun. But if it were all gone tomorrow, I wouldn't care. Its the content of his character and the fact that I can talk to him and not have to explain myself that really matters to me.
I'm scared shitless that everything I say has the potential of scaring him off. People leave me so easily. I'm getting that complex that I'm easily thrown away. People swoop in, use me for what they want, and then I never hear from them again. Maybe they pop up a few more times, but its always the same results.
I don't know if my heart could take having him leave my life a third time.
tex13:
Its good that you are there for him, just take it at whatever pace you think is right and it will all work out. It is hard when the person you connect with is so far away, but just take what you can and enjoy it.