Last weekend was a blast. My first drinking weekend since college, and lets face it, that was quite a long time ago.
It started Friday afternoon with something of a housewarming party that my roommate and I had planned. She invited a few of her friends. I suffering from a lack of friends, had no one to invite, since the few friends that I do have work opposite ends of the week from myself. It was all okay with me though as I had been attempting to woo one of my roommates friends/coworkers. I was very excited to see them arrive -- and I became anxious to lose my parents who had visited. They were supposed to arrive an hour earlier than they did, thus their visited stretched into party time. Once they were gone though I made up for my inability to play the host.
After my parents left the party moved to the front porch so that our guests could enjoy their cigarettes, since it seemed that no one was interested in using the stairs to reach the exterior when they could all so easily see the porch. Events moved forward, I became progressively more intoxicated, and my roommates boyfriend invited a friend of his that turned out to be extremely annoying as he was stepping on my toes with this girl. I was infuriated with him, his only interest in this girl was bedding her, and sadly, my interest had already grown beyond such primal urges. Fortunately, things didn't go down in any way that made me worry, and I didn't think that this woman was interested in just being bedded. I think the guy realized that he had misplayed his hand woefully, and he would eventually just leave. The woman who holds my interest stayed over innocently on my couch. We were scheduled to go on another binge the following night with a diffferent group of mutual friends.
Now, I think I made some progress, but it's very modest progress, for as I spent time getting to know this woman better I realized that she hasn't healed from her break-up six months ago. In her defense, it is difficult to when your ex is obsessive, frequently making harassing phone calls, showing up at your home, et cetera, regardless of how much she shouts at him. Unfortunately, it became clear that she hadn't had time to get used to herself outside of a relationship since the relationship has just taken on an ugly mutatation. I have a lot of shit for other people to work through.
I did promise some promising things. First, I was allowed to put my arms around her at the bar. I know she's generally not cool with that from people and she commented a few times to others, but I was allowed to get away with it, and she even seemed to melt into me a litte. When I walked her home she was wearing my shirt and she couldn't stop commenting about how good I smell. She even went so far as to ensure that her friend knew that I smelled good. Unfortunately, she's obviously fighting with herself over her reaction to all of this, so I'm trying to take it slow. She's fighting because she's making it clear that she's not ready for anything yet, and I respect that, but I see some promise.
Having said all of this one can probably see that I really dig this woman. I just can't see myself waiting for her, especially if matters continue on their glacial pace. I can be her friend, but I also don't want to get caught up in the "friends zone." I'm guessing that my best bet is to be friendly with a smidgen of courting thrown in to keep things interesting.
Oh, and two day binges tend to bring two day hangovers.
It started Friday afternoon with something of a housewarming party that my roommate and I had planned. She invited a few of her friends. I suffering from a lack of friends, had no one to invite, since the few friends that I do have work opposite ends of the week from myself. It was all okay with me though as I had been attempting to woo one of my roommates friends/coworkers. I was very excited to see them arrive -- and I became anxious to lose my parents who had visited. They were supposed to arrive an hour earlier than they did, thus their visited stretched into party time. Once they were gone though I made up for my inability to play the host.
After my parents left the party moved to the front porch so that our guests could enjoy their cigarettes, since it seemed that no one was interested in using the stairs to reach the exterior when they could all so easily see the porch. Events moved forward, I became progressively more intoxicated, and my roommates boyfriend invited a friend of his that turned out to be extremely annoying as he was stepping on my toes with this girl. I was infuriated with him, his only interest in this girl was bedding her, and sadly, my interest had already grown beyond such primal urges. Fortunately, things didn't go down in any way that made me worry, and I didn't think that this woman was interested in just being bedded. I think the guy realized that he had misplayed his hand woefully, and he would eventually just leave. The woman who holds my interest stayed over innocently on my couch. We were scheduled to go on another binge the following night with a diffferent group of mutual friends.
Now, I think I made some progress, but it's very modest progress, for as I spent time getting to know this woman better I realized that she hasn't healed from her break-up six months ago. In her defense, it is difficult to when your ex is obsessive, frequently making harassing phone calls, showing up at your home, et cetera, regardless of how much she shouts at him. Unfortunately, it became clear that she hadn't had time to get used to herself outside of a relationship since the relationship has just taken on an ugly mutatation. I have a lot of shit for other people to work through.
I did promise some promising things. First, I was allowed to put my arms around her at the bar. I know she's generally not cool with that from people and she commented a few times to others, but I was allowed to get away with it, and she even seemed to melt into me a litte. When I walked her home she was wearing my shirt and she couldn't stop commenting about how good I smell. She even went so far as to ensure that her friend knew that I smelled good. Unfortunately, she's obviously fighting with herself over her reaction to all of this, so I'm trying to take it slow. She's fighting because she's making it clear that she's not ready for anything yet, and I respect that, but I see some promise.
Having said all of this one can probably see that I really dig this woman. I just can't see myself waiting for her, especially if matters continue on their glacial pace. I can be her friend, but I also don't want to get caught up in the "friends zone." I'm guessing that my best bet is to be friendly with a smidgen of courting thrown in to keep things interesting.
Oh, and two day binges tend to bring two day hangovers.