artzombie

so I'm a duche bag....
I was out all night till about 11am with my exs best friend doing drugs and having a grand ol' time listening to music and conversing with people I didn't know.
all the while my ex , whom I live with, was trying to get ahold of me while my phone was in my jacket...because she had to work at 11:30am and had no money to get there or eat. I had called her at 4:30ish from a cab saying that I was coming home..but then our friend called me to say that he would wait outside for me at the apartment I couldn't find earlier.
Then I didn't call her to say that I would be much MUCH later than I had planned...god I am such an asshole, this really bothers me because I have this thing...where I want everyone, or 90% of people to like me..fuck, unless I don't like them. and I'm moving out in 3 days so this really puts a wrench in the works...you know? because I want to be good friends with her...but I think I just royaly fucked things up for good...when I move out things will be very very different. maybe this would be easier if I weren't drunk and high. I need to get some sleep, I haven't slept yet and it's past noon.. drugs and stress will do that!
fuck my life.