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A lot of people have asked me about what my tattoos mean and I'd like to post a thorough answer. It seems like the right time to do so.

Not much longer than 5 or so years ago, I didn't like myself. I didn't like how I was living, I didn't like my ethics, didn't like what my future held and I set out on a journey to discover who I am. Some might call it a mid-life crisis, I call it a vision quest. Along the way Iearned a lot of things the hard way.

At the time I knew I wanted somehow to clarify who I am, what I am, what I've learned and experienced, into one consistent guiding thought. So I spent a lot of time thinking about how I felt about things, realized the Universe was trying to tell me something by treating me exactly the way I had treated others in the past. But also, the Universe was simultaneously giving me an opportunity to be free to change, and giving me the incentive to do it. And so my tattoos are at least three things, a guide to myself - a reminder of what's important, a users manual for anyone who would want to get close, and a roadmap that I believe - and that I pray - will lead me to what I would ultimately seek.

And so there are 7 components to the tattoos. The first is the sun image on top. Next are 6 words in Kanji. First is the sun.

Sun - this small image actually came before the others during the time when things were delerious. It was a time when when passion and art were being interwoven in a way that was very profound to me. It inspired me so much to make this image the logo of my music. This symbol represents art and creativity and I put it first because I've found that no matter who I am in the long run, I cannot live without art. I need to live IN art, to create constantly, to approach everything with art in me, and to surround myself with people who feel the same. And so, for one of the first times in my life I stand up proudly and claim truthfully that I strive to be an artist in everything I do, and that's OK.

Next are the words. Each word in kanji requires two symbols which is why it appears there are more than six words (12 symbols = 6 words). They are, in order of importance from top down:

Loyalty - loyalty means to others yes, but also to ones self, to a concept, to a plan, to a promise, to a vision, to honesty, to life, to love, to be with people who give loyalty and are loyal, who understand what it means. And while we all fail sometimes, we all also know that without loyalty we leave a path of pain and destruction wherever we go. It reminds that no one can hold two conflicting concepts and claim to be loyal to them both. It reminds me to constanty ask where my loyalties lie and respond accordingly.

Passion - if I don't have something or someone to feel passionate about, to approach passionately, I don't want to be there. I would rather die than to continue to live in a passionless place. Passion doesn't mean sex, although sex is part of passion. Passion means how you feel about something. It could be at work, or it could be just walking down the street. It encompasses how I would want others to interact with me. it reminds me to approach everything with vigor - art, music, work, love, lovemaking, relationships, friends, children, your home, your garden, your studies... everything. Even making breakfast. If passion doesn't exist in one's life somewhere, then one's life is keeping you from that place where it does. And you can't get true passion without loyalty first. Any other way is superficial and manipulative.

And so here's the hard part about that. Since loyalty comes before passion, it means that sometimes you have to let go of something you feel passionate about when you know that you are keeping that someone else from where their own true passion lies. No matter how much pain it brings upon yourself to do so. Anything else would be unjust.

Respect - this one is somewhat close to loyalty, but less philosophical. It's the basic idea of treating others how you would want to be treated yourself. It's also a way-station along the journey. If there's loyalty and passion, there's likely to be the opportunity for respect, but there's also the opportunity to take advantage of the situation. This one reminds me not to. And I hope it reminds others not to when they have my loyalty and passion in their hands. If there's loyalty and passion but no respect, someone's going to get hurt really really badly. I learned about this one the hard way.

Intimacy - Intimacy is understanding. It's the full knowledge of everything there is to know about something or someone. Some people I know who have taken acid describe trips where they can see the connections between everything in the Universe. That's pretty profound. While I've never dropped and never will, I can appreciate how powerful it must be to finally clearly and completely understand the entirety of something. In people, that can only be achieved through communication and I believe it to be a cornerstone of anything that's more than a friendly relationship. In real relationships, I believe in zero secrets in the long run. I believe in being loyal and trusting and accepting of people for who they are and how they come. And that the more you know about someone, the closer you become, the more intimate you become - not physically, but spiritually. I've made enough orbits around the sun now to know that everyone has their pains, their failures, their obsessions, but that in the long run we all just want to go home. And that comfort - that intimacy - of being with someone who knows everything there is to know about you but still loves you just the same... that is home.

Clarity - I believe by following all the earlier philosophies, you will eventually arrive at clarity; seeing all things, all paths, for what they are. By understanding and trusting and being passionate about something, you tend to eliminate distractions and false paths. You can more easily see through things and not be hurt by them. You can more easily find paths that lead to the right place to be, which is...

Peace - to finally return home in your heart. To be at peace with who you are, where you are, where you've been, who you are with, where you are going. It makes it possible to finally return home to the Universe and report back what you've seen someday without a heavy heart.

It's very interesting to me that as I review things that have happened in my life I can easily see the match or mismatch of one or more of these principals in the situation and how it led to whatever the eventual out come was. Almost as clearly as if it was a connecting the dots game. And so that, friend, is what my tattoos are. It's how I want to live based on what I've learned so far. I'm only partway there.

But the moral of the story is that it doesn't hurt anymore. They say you become your tattoos over time and I believe that. At the beginning my tattoos were speaking to me only in whispers, but they've gotten more vocal as of late. And now I think my tattoos are guiding me the way they should be.