OK. So you know when you are thankful as hell that you landed a new job, but you aren't really sure if you can stomach it on a day-to-day basis? Or want to? But you kinda need to?
Welcome to my world.
Now I completely realize that there are far, far, far worse problems to have in this crazy roller-coaster we call life - and I ask those who read this to try to keep that in mind...I'm not ungrateful, per se, just venting as best I can before I kill something cute and furry to appease my pain.
Details, here goes: some of my reticence I know is due to the fact that I was laid-off from my last job, a very nice and prestigious job, while lacking in the compensation had some incredible perks. Some of those perks I am just now identifying. Have you ever felt insulted because you have to 'sign' out and in for lunch? I never thought a salaried position would have that kind of restriction! Hourly, sure - I get that...but salraried people? I will say that I'm getting paid alot more money at the new job, but I'm also in a position where I feel like "less than" because I watched my new co-worker get talked down to all day. I don't feel like that is, or should be, a part of anyone's day. Should it?
These may seem like simple things to my dear reader, so I feel I should make just one more point. I absolutely did a full-body cringe when handed a file from a higher position person that was so terrifyingly sloppy, I'm hoping like hell that the level of work he displayed isn't representative of what they expect. If someone is in a 'better' position than me doing that kind of work - well, I can't stress enough how normally hard I am on my own work, but Good Night, Nurse! I will take over this guy's department in a month by simply pointing out (with my work, of course, not actually saying it...yet...) how efficient I am, how neatly and precisely I can do both jobs. And for less than what they are paying now...
I press my fingers together into the steeple position and whisper "Excellent."
I did it throughout the day, and I'll continue to do it now. Mentally coach myself in the virtues of having a job even if I traded perks for actual money, having a roof, being able to eat. Those are more important!! Remember, damnit!!
Ugh. I'm tired.
UPDATE:
I sincerely appreciate the congrats and support! Thank you! I really am trying to be grateful, not hate retarded "superiors" and heck yes, I will be asking for mo' money when I point out how badly they need me! If only to appease thier sense of efficiency - that alone might cinch a promotion for me!
Day 2: Saw some improvement, although it had NOTHING to do with the early-morning mandatory meeting - who knew an hour made such a difference? I tried my best to have a better attitude, my husband commented on that very point, but I was pretty keenly aware of potential problems. Like the fact that the sloppy guy wasn't aware of a pretty fundamental function of the application to accomplish said tasks that's why he asked me to do it. Hmm.... I shudder to think what this guy's alma mater passed off as Computer Literacy 101... "This button turns your computer... on..., Mmmm'kay?" And he is in no way a cuddly-50-something-gay guy!
Again, I appreciate this channel to vent to you all - it makes me feel a bit more human! Thank you!!
Welcome to my world.
Now I completely realize that there are far, far, far worse problems to have in this crazy roller-coaster we call life - and I ask those who read this to try to keep that in mind...I'm not ungrateful, per se, just venting as best I can before I kill something cute and furry to appease my pain.
Details, here goes: some of my reticence I know is due to the fact that I was laid-off from my last job, a very nice and prestigious job, while lacking in the compensation had some incredible perks. Some of those perks I am just now identifying. Have you ever felt insulted because you have to 'sign' out and in for lunch? I never thought a salaried position would have that kind of restriction! Hourly, sure - I get that...but salraried people? I will say that I'm getting paid alot more money at the new job, but I'm also in a position where I feel like "less than" because I watched my new co-worker get talked down to all day. I don't feel like that is, or should be, a part of anyone's day. Should it?
These may seem like simple things to my dear reader, so I feel I should make just one more point. I absolutely did a full-body cringe when handed a file from a higher position person that was so terrifyingly sloppy, I'm hoping like hell that the level of work he displayed isn't representative of what they expect. If someone is in a 'better' position than me doing that kind of work - well, I can't stress enough how normally hard I am on my own work, but Good Night, Nurse! I will take over this guy's department in a month by simply pointing out (with my work, of course, not actually saying it...yet...) how efficient I am, how neatly and precisely I can do both jobs. And for less than what they are paying now...
I press my fingers together into the steeple position and whisper "Excellent."
I did it throughout the day, and I'll continue to do it now. Mentally coach myself in the virtues of having a job even if I traded perks for actual money, having a roof, being able to eat. Those are more important!! Remember, damnit!!
Ugh. I'm tired.
UPDATE:
I sincerely appreciate the congrats and support! Thank you! I really am trying to be grateful, not hate retarded "superiors" and heck yes, I will be asking for mo' money when I point out how badly they need me! If only to appease thier sense of efficiency - that alone might cinch a promotion for me!
Day 2: Saw some improvement, although it had NOTHING to do with the early-morning mandatory meeting - who knew an hour made such a difference? I tried my best to have a better attitude, my husband commented on that very point, but I was pretty keenly aware of potential problems. Like the fact that the sloppy guy wasn't aware of a pretty fundamental function of the application to accomplish said tasks that's why he asked me to do it. Hmm.... I shudder to think what this guy's alma mater passed off as Computer Literacy 101... "This button turns your computer... on..., Mmmm'kay?" And he is in no way a cuddly-50-something-gay guy!
Again, I appreciate this channel to vent to you all - it makes me feel a bit more human! Thank you!!
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
jennrose:
there's a tempting idea, but i don't know if i can fill a spaceboy comic book with my silliness. i know he's busy.
bethica:
Oh man. The challenge of maintaining one's authenticity and integrity while paying the bills. Booooooo.