Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

arsnic

Morgan Hill

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 465 Following 252

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Friday Jan 29, 2010

Jan 29, 2010
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Being frustrated about the guy and his dog in my front yard has made me think about other things.
Recently I told you about the luck with our house during that storm we had and since then my husband and I have been butting heads.
Every night something makes one of us mad at the other. Causing the other to get mad, as well. It never really lasts long. A couple hours or by morning. But the fact that just thinking about him getting home and me not being here when he does bothers me. He's my best friend, my confidant, and my mentor. Everything. I'm sure its just because we need our space.
Which also makes me think about this pregnancy. I say terrible things all the time. "Is it too late for an abortion" and "she sucks already" and I feel awful about it. I don't mean them, I'm just scared and I hate coming off as weak. I often think that its was a mistake having this baby. I've had an abortion before (when I was 19) but I feel every part of it was the right thing to do.
When we found out about this baby, I cried all day. Not because I was happy, but because I felt as though I let my husband down. We had just gotten married and planned to do so much. We can't do most of it now, because of this. I feel like such a burden to him. I can't hardly help him around the house and he works so hard at his job that when he comes home... the last thing he wants to do is all the things I should have done. Dishes, feeding the animals, cleaning their cages and the house. Its just so hard to move around these days.

I feel like a failure. Useless.

Not having a job bothers me too. We're always tight on money and it seems that we barely make rent every month. All of our extra money goes towards bills and the house.

I want to talk to my husband but I don't want to be that emotional type of girl. I blame every tear and whimper on the pregnancy hormones and even using that as a crutch makes me feel so weak.
He has enough on his own plate.

I need some happiness.
padre:
I have fairly good luck sans those two moments. I'm usually very careful of them & very very protective of them. It's just a laps in judgment for a split second that cost me both those phones.

So do you plan to go back to school?

Maybe these feelings come from the hormones, sure. I wouldn't doubt it in fact. But they're coming from previous fears I'm sure too. You two are gonna be fine because you promised each other you'd be fine. No matter what argument, no matter what burden you apply to one another you promised you'd be strong enough to be there for each other in the end. Fact is you're gonna have this baby, and in time you'll do some awesome stuff. It's just postponed for now that's all. In the long run that's not a bad thing right?
Jan 29, 2010
princessxxx:
:-( hun, I just read ur blog.... omg.... you are blessed!! You have a hubby and a baby on the way.... things will be diff, but you will enjoy things in a different way...... please don't worry..... coz no matter what you are a strong beaytiful lady xxxx
Jan 30, 2010

More Blogs

  • 05.20.16
    0

    Tell me about your worst customer service experience. Either end of t…

  • 05.18.16
    1

    I wanted to be a suicidegirls just to do Multi sets.

  • 05.13.16
    0

    @bloghomework @missy @rambo

    Favorite athlete. Pia Mess! 24/7! Silicon Valley Rollerderby Girls.…
  • 05.13.16
    10

    Where is Lux suicide? She's my favorite.

  • 05.12.16
    0

    I'm super buzzed!

  • 05.09.16
    0

    I'm back?

  • 05.09.16
    1

    I'm back?

  • 01.11.11
    3

    Tuesday Jan 11, 2011

    I'm going to Vegas in April and you should donate towards my trip. Be…
  • 01.04.11
    3

    Tuesday Jan 04, 2011

    I want to feel sexy again. I want to feel myself. I need to remember …
  • 11.20.10
    3

    Saturday Nov 20, 2010

    Well that didn't last long. Anyone have a couch my daughter and I cou…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
7
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,598 SuicideGirls
  • 1,116,465 followers
  • 14,938,177 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,438,131 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo