arricura

Long entry ahead - playing catch up...

Weeks pass like days, before I realize just how far we are into summer, how far we are into 2004, how many years and days old I actually am. Granted, South Bend gets more days of rain than Seattle, so perhaps that lack of sun is a bit to blame for my failed summery mood, but damn the old folks were right when they said that time flies by when you get out of school (high school, that is).

My poor mother had her knees replaced about a week ago now. We had some communication issues before she went in, she was afraid, and true to form, exaggerates everything to the point that she had my poor father terrified that she would 'not wake up from the anesthesia'. I tried to be the positive voice, tried to say 'Things will be just fine, don't worry about that - your surgeon does this surgery all the time,' and she felt I was being insensitive, making light of the situation. She forgets that medical science has progressed in the 20 years since she's had anything major done, I think. Of course, she got through the surgery just fine, and she's very slowly getting a little better every day. Today seems to be the first day that her attitude has significantly improved, as she's finally seeing some progress and getting up occasionally, even if it's only to take a few steps to the comode. But, you know, when they take your KNEES OUT, it's pretty slow going.

My girlfriend's prior suggestion of Air America has been keeping me company at work perodically when things are slow, and even moreso this week while the bosses have been out. In my recent efforts to stay more informed about politics and the government (which I've been happy to be relatively ignorant about in the past), I've been very interested to read opinion pieces as a way to ease me into understanding what's happening. I've been subscribed to braddelong for several months now, and he's been really interesting to read, especially since I took economics courses. I also recently picked up a subscription to The Nation, an affordable, weekly liberal political publication. Air America also makes me want to buy everything at Northern Sun, as well as a subscription to Film Movement - but I know I have no time to watch them.

The only time I read real fiction (aside from the newspapers, some would argue) is when I travel. I got about halfway through Life of Pi on my last trip to Florida, but regretfully have not had a chance to get back to it. I also enjoyed getting into The Science of Vampires, (one of many unique gifts from ashkicks), and can't wait to get back to it.

My classes this semester keep me busy and are direct opposites in terms of keeping my interests. Personal Selling, now affectionally called the Hooker Class by my friend Beth, is likely one of the easiest classes I've taken. I could practically teach it myself, I'm honestly suprised at how much I already know about the psychology of sales and building presentations. My Business Analysis class is surely another matter. I'm bad enough at Math, let alone trying to use it to make business decisions about it.

Given the recent pace that I'm keeping, I find myself more interested in Hip Hop and high tempo rock to keep me moving. I need new music, and am thankful to best friend Chelle's companion S. for the Best Buy gift certificate that I have yet to make time to use.

This weekend I take time out to go photograph a wedding for a friend of ours. I have been scouring my closet trying to find an outift that would be appropriate - dressy pants that I can crawl around in anywhere, and a shirt that's dressy but not going to give me too much cleavage if I bend over, crawl around, etc. I'm sure I have something, I just always feel like I don't have anything to wear, even though I've become quite the clothes whore lately. Buying auctions of lots of clothes on ebay has been more economical, and seems to be relatively reliable since I know what size the clothes will fit. That and my beloved Torrid, of course, are my shopping fixes of choice. I tried Lane Bryant today for a top to wear to the wedding and for a White blouse since all of mine are now dingy, and i wandered around for a good 45 minutes, finding NOTHING that looked even remotely trendy and not 'fat girly.' All sorts of really awful patterns and 'safe' cuts. How dissapointing, but I'm used to that from them by now. Sears had a some trendier clothes, just not enough of them. Thank the gods for Torrid and my favorite ebay sellers. If it wasn't for them, I'd be back in serious self esteem issues because I'd have such awful clothes again. It's amazing the difference that makes.

Planning for Ubercon IV is heating up bigtime, and I should probably soon be requesting the time off so I know it's taken care of.

I have to give a sales presentation in my Personal Selling class, and I originally was going to do Voice over IP since I had to write a proposal and stuff for it when Trev started his job. However, lately I've been thinking about doing it for a potential Event Planning business - and that got me thinking - why not actually START an event planning business? I AM going to school after all, there are NO event planners here in the Bend, and this is something I could really do. I need to be a little more business saavy, but I can rely on myself to get things done. It's an idea. I'm thinking about picking up some books and looking into getting a certification to go with my degree. I think it would be a nice compliment, and I know that even if I didn't do it as an entreprenuer, I could work for a corporation (we have an event planner) or a not-for-profit (The YWCA Chicago has one, too). I'm kinda flighty and tend to get all obsessed about things and then eventually move on, so who knows how far I'll take this. However, When I think of all the things (photography, candles, computer stuff, admin assisting), I really enjoy schoozing with vendors and well, partying. Weddings would be nice to concentrate on, but if I didn't have enough business or couldn't get enough business to do it on my own, I could sure work on other events. I kinda wish there was someone around here I could shadow, or talk to about it. Maybe there is and I'm just overlooking it. I really don't know if I want to be an entreprenuer, only because I remember my parents owning businesses - you can never take a vacation. I NEED VACATIONS. I guess I'd just need to plan events out of town to have an excuse Why yes, I'm planning an event in Maui...

Maybe, just maybe, I don't need yet ANOTHER project. I probably don't, but here goes anyway.

My parents tell me whenever they hear my political views or whenever I speak about religion and feminism that I'm much more like my Aunt Phyllis (my Aunt who died a couple of years ago) than they ever thought. I find it an amazing compliment. While I'm so stubborn, independent, and liberal like her- my Aunt phyllis made a helluva business for herself, and maybe I'll do that too. Who the hell knows what's in store for me.

Speaking of my dear Aunt Phyllis, may she rest in peace... Still waiting on the lawyer to send me a check...

So this is all what's GOING ON with my life. What's up with me? How am I feeling? I think all that gets lost in here sometimes, and I think it's a good thing a lot of the time. If you know me at all, you know that if my life isn't busy, if I'm not running about with things to occupy my mind, well, I spend too much time in there getting depressed about nothing. So, this busy beaver that I am, as stressed as it makes me, it makes me happy.

I've stopped making this journal friends only for most entries because I've stopped being really concerned about anyone finding it. At least at the moment, I think it's harmless and I'm feeling pretty open and carefree about it. We'll see what changes that soon enough, I'm sure.

I'd like to write a narrative post - I think that while the updates are nice, it's not always as telling as a good narrative is. When I read through my old written journals, I find the entries about what's going on most boring and the least telling. However, just the stories, the events, they're the most rewarding. I love writing that way. Perhaps tonight I'll give that a try again.