ME: I have a real quick question sir.
Jackass: Sure.
Me: Can I sell you a car today?
Jackass: No, I just bought the chevy and traded in the Dodge.
Me: Accross the street?
Jackass: Yeah.
ME: But you've parked both cars in our parking lot?
Jackass: ignores me.
Me: mmmmmmk... Sir, this parking area is for customers. If I can sell you a car...fine....otherwise you need to take both of your cars off of this property so those who are here to conduct business can do just that.
Jackass: what?
Me: Well sir, I'm a little confused as to why you would bring a car you bought across the street...over here to transfer your belongings. Can you explain that to me?
Jackass: I'm still a customer...I still own this Dodge.
Me: Actually sir...you're not. You own a chevy. Chevy now owns that Dodge. You have no business on our property.
jackass: I want your name. I'm calling the General Manager.
Me: The General Manager told me to come out here and get rid of you. My name is AJ...his name is Gary...he's in his office upstairs. Feel free to go and have a chat with him. But before you go up and waste your breath......which car should I have towed first??
Jackass: Ok...I moving them now.
Me: Hurry up.
I was everyones hero for the day. Sometimes...there is a morbid sense of retribution that comes from verbally ass raping the stupid fuckers I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Jackass: Sure.
Me: Can I sell you a car today?
Jackass: No, I just bought the chevy and traded in the Dodge.
Me: Accross the street?
Jackass: Yeah.
ME: But you've parked both cars in our parking lot?
Jackass: ignores me.
Me: mmmmmmk... Sir, this parking area is for customers. If I can sell you a car...fine....otherwise you need to take both of your cars off of this property so those who are here to conduct business can do just that.
Jackass: what?
Me: Well sir, I'm a little confused as to why you would bring a car you bought across the street...over here to transfer your belongings. Can you explain that to me?
Jackass: I'm still a customer...I still own this Dodge.
Me: Actually sir...you're not. You own a chevy. Chevy now owns that Dodge. You have no business on our property.
jackass: I want your name. I'm calling the General Manager.
Me: The General Manager told me to come out here and get rid of you. My name is AJ...his name is Gary...he's in his office upstairs. Feel free to go and have a chat with him. But before you go up and waste your breath......which car should I have towed first??
Jackass: Ok...I moving them now.
Me: Hurry up.
I was everyones hero for the day. Sometimes...there is a morbid sense of retribution that comes from verbally ass raping the stupid fuckers I have to deal with on a daily basis.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Every once in a while you have to make it worth your time. You know the sale isn't going to happen and you are no longer worried about offending them.
Have any lingo out there I haven't heard?
Stroke: People that come in, seem interested for a few seconds and them bolt as in just stroking me. "He was a total stroke."
Broom: To get rid of someone quickly who may not be buying for months, if ever. "Hey chuck, broom those strokes, the pizza is here."
Lot Lizzards: The same guy you see every Saturday looking over you entire used car inventory that never buys a thing. I hear the truckers have a different meaning.
Ahhhhh... I F-ing love my job, repeat, repeat.