I have scientifically designed this psychological test to measure your value to human society so please take it and record your results for the betterment of humanity and my own self serving entertainment.
There ARE trick questions.
Your favorite color is: red, lavender, turquoise, periwinkle, I'm color blind you insensitive jerk.
Of this list you would be LEAST likely to name your daughter: Rain, Ocean, Seashell, Arthurinia.
Pick one: Foghat, Asshat, Hardhat, faghag.
You are stranded on a deserted island. You can only take one thing with you. It is: Deodorant, The Swahili version of Dr. Suess's green eggs and ham, a volleyball you name "Wilson", nipple tastles and a dancing pole.
You get in a fight with your significant other. You are least likely to do which of the following: Cry to get your way. Have sex to get your way. Have sex knowing you WON'T get your way but you don't care you're horny anyway. Call the police and tell them your "partner" is importing opium from the far East in his/her rectum and if they act quickly they might just take over 1 million dollars of narcotics off the street.
You have decided you want a pet. You get a: Wombat, a sloth, a dik dik, a chinchilla.
Pick one and ONLY one: Gonorrhea, syphilis, clamidea, all of the above.
You just won the lottery. You find out that the amount of money you won is EXACTLY the amount of money it would cost to give every orphan in the U.S. a brand new speak and spell. What do you do?
You walk into a bar to find two of the hottest twins you've ever seen in your life. One is a succesful businessperson with a home in every country and a yacht in every port. His/her brother/sister has devoted his/her life to the study of the Peruvian screetching owl and can do an amazing impression of a zebra. Who do you choose?
You later find out that the first twin lost his manhood/her clitorus in a freak accident at a petting zoo. Do you still choose him/her, or do you jump Zebraboy/girl?
Guggenheim, sinister, nutsack, foreskin, jiggily, asstwat. Which word logically comes next: Hobag, doggy, Van Gogh, David Hastlehoff.
If the government were to ban names, and instead forced everyone to be called by their proper numerical desination....which numerical designation would most appropriately represent your personality?
If you were a gay man, would you be a top or a bottom?
You learn from a doctor that you only have 2 weeks to use your genitalia before it shrivels up and becomes an interesting party topic. What do you do?
This test has: expanded your horizons, wasted 5 minutes of your life you can't get back, made you realized how odd you or I actually am, wasted 20 minutes of your time cause you're mildly retarded.
There ARE trick questions.
Your favorite color is: red, lavender, turquoise, periwinkle, I'm color blind you insensitive jerk.
Of this list you would be LEAST likely to name your daughter: Rain, Ocean, Seashell, Arthurinia.
Pick one: Foghat, Asshat, Hardhat, faghag.
You are stranded on a deserted island. You can only take one thing with you. It is: Deodorant, The Swahili version of Dr. Suess's green eggs and ham, a volleyball you name "Wilson", nipple tastles and a dancing pole.
You get in a fight with your significant other. You are least likely to do which of the following: Cry to get your way. Have sex to get your way. Have sex knowing you WON'T get your way but you don't care you're horny anyway. Call the police and tell them your "partner" is importing opium from the far East in his/her rectum and if they act quickly they might just take over 1 million dollars of narcotics off the street.
You have decided you want a pet. You get a: Wombat, a sloth, a dik dik, a chinchilla.
Pick one and ONLY one: Gonorrhea, syphilis, clamidea, all of the above.
You just won the lottery. You find out that the amount of money you won is EXACTLY the amount of money it would cost to give every orphan in the U.S. a brand new speak and spell. What do you do?
You walk into a bar to find two of the hottest twins you've ever seen in your life. One is a succesful businessperson with a home in every country and a yacht in every port. His/her brother/sister has devoted his/her life to the study of the Peruvian screetching owl and can do an amazing impression of a zebra. Who do you choose?
You later find out that the first twin lost his manhood/her clitorus in a freak accident at a petting zoo. Do you still choose him/her, or do you jump Zebraboy/girl?
Guggenheim, sinister, nutsack, foreskin, jiggily, asstwat. Which word logically comes next: Hobag, doggy, Van Gogh, David Hastlehoff.
If the government were to ban names, and instead forced everyone to be called by their proper numerical desination....which numerical designation would most appropriately represent your personality?
If you were a gay man, would you be a top or a bottom?
You learn from a doctor that you only have 2 weeks to use your genitalia before it shrivels up and becomes an interesting party topic. What do you do?
This test has: expanded your horizons, wasted 5 minutes of your life you can't get back, made you realized how odd you or I actually am, wasted 20 minutes of your time cause you're mildly retarded.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
2. Seashell, unless I was impregnated on the deserted island in one of the questions below, then maybe I'd consider it.
3. Hardhat
4. The book, for kindling, HA! godd idea! (stolen!)
5. Assuming I had a SO, I'd have sex and imagine someone else, maybe calling out anothers name as I got mine. (the end)
6. I'll have to look up what it is, but I really think I want a wombat. They should stock them at the registers at Meijers, it would be an impulse buy.
7. #1
8. #1 Brains turns me on first, as long as everythigng else still works we are still in business.
9. Trick next
10. You are going to put that GPS WHERE?!?!?!
11. Hmmmmm... top, different is good
12. Make sure I'm invited to the party
13. thirteen is my lucky number, did I win?
How have things been with you?