armsxlikexblades

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations."

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I have always believed that love is a choice one makes. I don't believe we "fall" in or out of love...although certain conditions can make those we desire so overwhelming that they make our choice to give of ourselves so completely involuntary that it defies any real reason.

Nevertheless...I do not believe that there is the slightest thing wrong with loving a person quickly...and telling them so...and if it were'nt for the disfunction and endless hopelessness in our society...and the increased wariness and superfulous contempt we engender amongst one another...declaring my love to others would be no great matter.

We live in a society that says love is to be reserved and guarded. It is to be defined and restricted. It is to be hidden and chained.

But love...true love...and the ability to do it well springs from the ability to love anyone...at any time...in any one moment...and to not fear that.

This does not mean that we love everybody...but simply that the ability to love anyone is there...and is purely a matter of choice...of measuring and validating certain desires, and acknowledging them or overlooking them.

The more readily a person is able to make that choice is indicitive of thier own capacity to love others without condition. Unfortunately, often...it can be indicative of social ineptitudes...just as being unable to commit is...and distinguishing which spark lights a lover's flame is a high hurdle.

The purest example I can think of is the love a parent has for their child. Unencumbered by expectation...a parent loves their own child more deeply than could be possibly understood. Such love occurs before the child is even born...and is immesurable on the day of a childs birth.

This is pure love. A love that is chosen. The child has done nothing to deserve such love...other than exist. A person does not fall in love with their child...they choose to live their lives in love with that child...and often to give everything for that child...regardless of how it is reciprocated. They choose to sacrifice...they choose to give of themselves...and often...they cannot think of doing any differently. They have committed themselves immediately and unconditionally to the welfare of a complete stranger. They do not do this out of a sense of obligation. It is instinctual...as I believe romantic love can be. Whether it SHOULD be is another question altogether.

Looked at in this way...I believe I understand why such love is so deep and rewarding. It exists without pretext. It exists purely. There is no desire to be given anything in return.

And so it can be with romantic love...although I know that more often than not, romantic love is defined differently for us...i.e. by our expectations. We are simply jaded...and expect that fiction and romance...the drama of our sexuality can fulfill us deeply...when in fact...we are the authors of our own ability to find happiness or not to.

We are (I am) continually blinded by the desires we manufacture. Maybe these manufactured desires are good. Maybe they help us seek better relationships with better people. Maybe they're bad. Maybe they lead us astray. How many loves have I given up on simply because I desired something in a person... which NO OTHER person but I could provide. Or I desired a physical attribute...that is bound to whither and fail in time. Sexual gratification, attention, intellect, humor. All of these things I want and measure in others...are they obstacles to true love... do they define what it is I want to possess myself...and seek in others to fulfill me?

Which of the two is more pure... A love without pretext or one based on desire? Does it matter?

Probably fucking not. I cannot imagine choosing to love certain people even in the best of circumstances. But I recognize this as my own shortcoming...and my own inability to look past my own desires.

Love is a condition of the soul...

We ARE love. Our every act towards others defines us. Expanding and embracing our ability to love others is the only way to truly be free...and is the only way to fulfill the true desires we often push back to the farthest reaches of our psyche.

Romantic love should simply take that natural condition of love and amplify it, concentrate it, and illustrate to us how loving we really are or can be.

So now I am free. I can make the choice...if I can free myself from myself.

haha...bla bla bla...human emotions are crazy, indefinate things. And analyzing them is rediculous...


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