For two weeks we've had an unwanted visitor in our garage. A big fucking rat that I'm convinced was fed toxic fucking waste as a baby rat. He was HUGE. We would see him in the garage every time we would play music (we have a makeshift studio in our garage). My roommate convinced me with his silken tongue not to kill it...something about karma or some bullshit.
Last night around 2 am I went to grab some ice out there and almost stepped on his rat ass. I screamed like a little girl, ran over to a stool and jumped on it. Cat sounds and shooshing noises did'nt do shit. The rat looked at me and laughed. He stood his ground, obviously aware that he blocked my only path to freedom...the door to the kitchen that lay behind him. That pissed me off, so with lightning quick inqenuity and precise throwing action I took a piece of ice and nailed that little fucker right in the head. BOW! Dazed, and a little wiser than to fuck with me, he scurried off. I felt a little bad, but figured I'd make it up to him somehow.
But today....as I drove into my driveway and walked up to my door I noticed him dead on the front lawn, mauled by a hungry kitty. So my karma is clean. I did'nt do the killing. The rat is gone...and I had an opportunity to make up for throwing ice at his head. How did I do that you ask.
well.....
I provided a funeral.
Notice I spelled RATT like the heavy metal band. Haha. I'll bet he would've liked that...the little vermin.
AND YES...I HAVE ALOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS.
Last night around 2 am I went to grab some ice out there and almost stepped on his rat ass. I screamed like a little girl, ran over to a stool and jumped on it. Cat sounds and shooshing noises did'nt do shit. The rat looked at me and laughed. He stood his ground, obviously aware that he blocked my only path to freedom...the door to the kitchen that lay behind him. That pissed me off, so with lightning quick inqenuity and precise throwing action I took a piece of ice and nailed that little fucker right in the head. BOW! Dazed, and a little wiser than to fuck with me, he scurried off. I felt a little bad, but figured I'd make it up to him somehow.
But today....as I drove into my driveway and walked up to my door I noticed him dead on the front lawn, mauled by a hungry kitty. So my karma is clean. I did'nt do the killing. The rat is gone...and I had an opportunity to make up for throwing ice at his head. How did I do that you ask.
well.....
I provided a funeral.
Notice I spelled RATT like the heavy metal band. Haha. I'll bet he would've liked that...the little vermin.
AND YES...I HAVE ALOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS.
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Last week i provided a funeral for a baby possum that somehow drowned in our pool. And i hate possums with a fucking passion cuz they murdered my chickens when i was little. Long Story. Anyways.. I buried the fucker and then wrote on a rock with permanent maker "breath easy" (cuz drowning must suck) and i placed it on his little grave. But fuck i hate possums.
I swore I'd never go back to Mexico...it's too insane. Sober maybe...drunken punk rockers...hell no!