armsxlikexblades

He came to me today
wrapped in ignorance
blinded by fear
much like my own reflection
timid, yet strong enough to hide it

He smelled...
no...
He reeked of alcohol
and I remembered my childhood
when it seemed I soaked in it,
choked in it
drowned in it.

So now, is it so strange that I run?
Is it so strange he sits waiting
for a prodigal son, living in the past,
and sabotaging any future.

leave me now, don't look back.
I'm resenting you a little longer...
I won't forgive you.
Until it's too late.

Yes father, I'm still that 17 year old boy
Looking for any chance to escape
While you have become frail and nearly lifeless with age;
a bag of bones held together by the mere instinct of survivalI have become a man.
A man marinated in the history of your insecurities...

I am numb to everything but the shock of my indifference
Shamefully, I wish for your death merely that I might grieve you
So that I can cry for you and miss you in all the ways I cannot bring myself to feel for you now.

This is your epitaph
written in blood, etched in flesh
a birthright I dare not feed
no letters on stone mark your life
no obituary announces your exit
merely the soft breathing of your only son

You will echo long beyond your death
ImmortalTimeless
missed in the same ways we missed you while you lived.
As a ghost amongst your children
And a stranger to your friends.

Its too late.