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arly

A hole

Hopeful Since 2007

Followers 443 Following 251

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Wednesday Aug 08, 2007

Aug 7, 2007
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Well, i haven't updated in ages so i guess i will whilst i'm not doing anything.

Been a bit up and down over the last few weeks, had to dogsit for my mum which was pretty close to hellish, couldn't get the hot water to run so i felt like a skank, and the fridge freezer broke so all the food that was bought for me spoiled whilst i tried in vain to fix it. They only gave me 70 for the 2 weeks, which barely covered the first week, thankfully benefits came to save the day.
Also whilst i was there my grandad got seriously ill, i'll give you a brief of his life in the past months:

Wife died
Had a back operation, found embolisms, removed and caused him to be left paralysed from the waist down
Moved to a care home he didn't like and was miserable
Found another care home he did like
On the morning he moved, staff found infection from catheter
Taken to hospital
Deteriorated rapidly
Crashed, but was revived before my dad could let them know that it wouldn't be what he wanted
Started to get better
Septicemia set in, liver and kidneys failing
Regained consiousness, but so smacked up on morphine said he wanted to go on dialysis
Died

Bascially, that was it. He wasn't happy at all, he was going to go on anti- depressants at the new care home, but obviously he didn't get that far. His funeral was yesterday, and it was horrible, looking at the casket and knowing my grandad was in there, and seeing my dad and uncle cry was something that really got me too.
I never really knew him, when my parents split up, he saw us as mums kids and just severed contact (he didn't want my dad to marry mother). Now i'm just full of regret, wishing i'd made the effort to go with my dad and see him. I went to the hospital when he was in intensive care, but dad wouldn't let me see him. I dedicated a song to him last night, after i'd said into the microphone i just broke down, then cried more after. I just wish i'd knew him a bit more, i should've made the effort, but i suppose he's not suffering now, and is in a better place.

Anyway, still job hunting, found a few interesting ones, and applying to Blackburn College is proving difficult. It's a part time lecturer application, not a support worker, so i don't know where to put down what i want to do in support. Grr!
Anyone in the blackburn area who hasn't gone back to Cellar Bar yet, i suggest it, we went there 2 nights running, it was really good, they have a barbeque and everything!

Anyway, that's me for now, see you all later wink

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