arinnikole

Wow, love fucking sucks. The one I've been with off and on for 3 years just keeps letting me down and breaking my heart over and over again. I don't know why I do this to myself. I just wish I could find SOMEONE who would prove to be different... The only person I've ever truly loved treats me like I'm nothing. Don't get me wrong, he does have his sweet moments, but the bad ones definately outweigh the good ones lately.. I haven't seen him for over a week because he went to NYC to visit with his brother and he just got back in town, so you would think we would be spending a lot of time together... yeah right. He did come over last night, but it was nothing special and he didn't stay all that long. He's supposed to come over tonight so we could spend some "quality" time together, but then when I called him he said he'll let me know later if he's even coming over and that he's "busy and he can't talk". WTF? I don't know what changed, but he used to be with me all the time and actually loved being around me. I shoulda just stuck to my guns and stayed away from him after we broke up last month, but I guess it really is hard to let go of your first love...
But for the first time in a REALLY long time, I find myself crushing on someone else.... I'm not sure how it's going to work out because she's with someone, but who knows... it would be great to find a good person for once in my life.