arguablysane

I've come back after more than a year off the site.

Things are looking pretty good, I must admit.
Totally worth the $29 I spent for another year.

So much has happened... mostly bullshit.

But I'm glad I still have friends who care about me.
That makes the pain worth tolerating.

Time to look at some nekkid ladies.

I have not been on here in fucking forever.

Wow, so much has changed in 2+ years. Sad, sad sad.

Good to see this place is still beautiful.

I miss my fucking hair.

Is it just this time of year?
Is it the impending dread of the holidays and the inescapable time I have to spend with my less-than-familylike "family"?
What the hell is it that's making me wake up every day for the past week feeling so goddamn exhuasted and run-down?

I'm not sick, as far as I know, and I don't have any signs of migrating...
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Everything I've ever read or researched about my personality characteristics and INTJ status supports the fact that I'm really not very good at giving a shit about other humans at all.

This makes it incredibly difficult for me to fathom why she seems to be so convinced that I'm the best human with a penis that she's ever come across.

Girls are weirdos.
All of...
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It's starting to feel like a good time for murder again.

I think... feeling stupid... feeling like you missed something you know you should have caught, is the worst fucking feeling in the world.

Life has been rather... complicated lately.

I've decided that I must just be growing ever more weary of humans and the erratic switchfooting so many misfired synapes produce. I hold no anger, a duly admitted first for me... just that faint hope that a lot of human tendencies will replenish improved, and we all may grow and wake up.

I've acquired a new full time...
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Went down with Kirk and met up with Christine and Amanda to see the lady work last night.
I invariably feel horribly uncomfortable in strip clubs; thankfully she was sitting right inside the door when we went in.
Something quite gratifying about the way she immediately jumped up to hug me as soon as she saw me.
The start of good evening.

She took the...
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Drama.
An honorable man risen so beyond the height of his halo cast into such a vile pit of undeserved misery.

I can't begin to calculate the multitude of shards one heart can be shredded into.
Loved like a blood brother, "I only pray heaven knows when to lift you out."

Here's hoping the fates can untwist and reconnect this disjointed and gone awry lifeline.

Man, did my birthday ever fucking 0wnz0r.

Three solid days of free booze, chemicals, good friends, (save one whose basement I lived in for a year who didn't even remember and couldn't be bothered to show up and hang out with me,) and the company of several beautiful ladies (one in particular I've been enjoying immensely lately...) made the entire span a fucking vacation in...
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An eviction notice was not the way I wanted to start my day.

I honestly can't remember the last time I felt this depressed.
I've spent the day just trying not break down.
I don't want to fucking do this anymore.

I'm so tired of trying just for it to always be a pointless effort.
I really, really just want to fucking give up.

Help...
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Why do your tiny shoes have to be so fucking difficult to fill?

It cannot be my fault.
I've suffered long enough.













Hey SuicideGirls- Stop letting fat blubbery shits on the site. Christ.

I am officially completely in love with the new Tool record.

It's been a long, long fucking time since any song was actually able to move me to tears. (Since the Lateralus tracks Parabol/Parabola, and before that, the Salival release of the 14-minute long version of Pushit, actually.)

God I love this band.
Never fails to make me feel alive again.
I honestly don't know...
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