well the ex called me the other day and we got into it a little... then the mood changed and she asked me if we could meet up and talk and be friends again. which frankly scares the hell out of me because of it i got all twisted up and had another panic attack..... i was very happy because a pack of smokes lasted me 3 days i havnt had a pack go that long since i first started smoking now because of this i bought a pack this morning and it only has 2 left. i want to be her friend again but at the same time i know if i do im going to slip up and say something, get my feelings hurt again and god only knows what else. ive never had feelings like this for anyone (is it right to say i loved this girl more than my own mother?) now im more than likely moving and she wants to be friends. WOW could i have jumped around any more in this post? 
just what we need, more assholes.