so this is a repost of what i put up earlier but then took down due to shame:
last night was a bad night for me. i had heard alot of people talk about relapsing while i was in rehab, and i always thought that they were the idiots for giving and not staying clean. Well im the idiot as well i caved to those temptations last night and used again, the list of what i did ran the gambit from smoke to drops, but damn was it scary.
I thought i was a strong person, in fact i knew i was a strong person. but those thoughts are now long gone. and it brings up the question of what am I, im not a strong person but i will not consider myself weak either cause i know what i did was not the right thing and that it will never happen again. Yet this feeling that it will is so persistent it scares the ever living shit out of me.
I want to say more but this is a bit much for me too get out. with that though i want to say thanks to those that support me and a big FUCK YOU to the person who supplied me.
last night was a bad night for me. i had heard alot of people talk about relapsing while i was in rehab, and i always thought that they were the idiots for giving and not staying clean. Well im the idiot as well i caved to those temptations last night and used again, the list of what i did ran the gambit from smoke to drops, but damn was it scary.
I thought i was a strong person, in fact i knew i was a strong person. but those thoughts are now long gone. and it brings up the question of what am I, im not a strong person but i will not consider myself weak either cause i know what i did was not the right thing and that it will never happen again. Yet this feeling that it will is so persistent it scares the ever living shit out of me.
I want to say more but this is a bit much for me too get out. with that though i want to say thanks to those that support me and a big FUCK YOU to the person who supplied me.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
irelandvixen:
Babe you are VERY strong you are also human now thats not an excuse but it happens and you cant beat yourself up for it! You can do anything. I believe in you always have! If you ever need an ear you KNOW i am here for you! You have always been there for me I would love to be there for you! Love you bunches-ireland
thyestean23:
You admited failure, that takes strength. You are making an attempt to change your life style, that takes strength. You made a mistake, thats human. Drive on.