My journal entries seem to be getting fewer and fewer between. Oh well, I'm pretty much just writing them for myself, noone reads them anyway, and I don't have any friends on here so I don't really except anyone to. I had a bit of a scare this last weekend. Thursday night my mom told me that her and my dad were seperating. It hit me really hard, I didn't know what to do or thing for the rest of the night, and most of Friday. I regained a little after talking to Michelle Thursday night, and hanging out with Anna on Friday. I talked to Frank yesterday about moving in with him and stuff to help my mom out, and he was cool about it and so was his mom.
I guess that my sister got her lip pierced, and my dad is REALLY old fashioned. My sister is not only a lesbian, but she dresses all butch and stuff. My dad hates it so much. When my mom asked him if he'd rather have her dress like a slut like most girls, and he said yes. My sister is really punky, she likes bands like Green Day, Bad Religion, Good Charlotte and that whole pop-punk deal. Anyways, when my dad found out that she got her lip pierced she chased her out of the house calling her a freak. He always says stuff like that to and about me but I stopped caring. I guessed my sister was really upset about it and went crying to my mom at her work. My dad is ALWAYS mad and yelling about everything. He's mad at me because of the music I listen to, my gauged ear and my septum, he's mad at my brother because he's 18, lives at home, doesn't have a job, and never leaves the house, and he's mad at my sister because she doesn't dress like a typical girl, has short hair, is into punk and now she has her lip pierced. I kind understand how he's mad on some level. I guess we didn't live up to his expectations or whatever. Doesn't bother me at all, but it obviously bothers him a lot. Anyway my mom was saying how she's tired of putting up with him and him being a "loose cannon", and how he's tired of him calling us freaks. He actually said that he's ashamed that people know that we're his kids, that the day he met my mom was the worst day of his life, and that his inmates (he's a correctional officer) are better behaved and better dressed than us. Oh well.
Anything he says doesn't hurt me, and I really don't care. What bothers me is that my mom is being put through this. She is honestly such an angel and such a saint and doesn't deserve any of this so bad. She works so hard and she is so loving, caring, nice, and understanding of us. My dad on the other hand, is the complete opposite. My mom is one of the best people in my life, and I love her, she doesn't deserve to be put through this. She makes the same amount as I do, maybe a little more and she is willing to move out away from my dad and take me, my brother and my sister with her. I of course volunteered to move out to help her out and stuff, and she was crying telling me she didn't want me to move away. She's so caring and loving, I love her so much. So anyways, I came home today and she told me to not move in with Frank (I was planning to make the move this week) and that her and my dad were going to try and make things up. That would be the perfect thing to do, I just hope that they don't try and fake it and try and be happy for us, but that they do what is best for them.
I knew this fight was a long time coming. I didn't think it would ever actually happen though. I don't know, I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Not only did Michelle (who I went out with for 2 years) break up with me, but then my parents almost (if they don't) break up. I believe now that love is not real. Love is just a fairy tale that doesn't actually exist. It's just a myth, something that you may feel temporarily that exists for so little time that you may not as well fall for it. I hope that I never think that I fall in love again, because I can do it so easily and I fall so hard. Love is such a fucking lie, and it's such a shame that so many people fall for it and believe in it when it's such an obvious lie, such an obvious scam. Divorce rates are up to at least half now or something, how can someone say that love exists when they're breaking up when the person they MARRIED? Doesn't that word mean anything anymore? Marriage is as temporary in this society as love is, it comes and goes like the seasons. I used to want to be a drug/alcohol/addiction abuse counselor AND a family/marriage councelor, but now, I'm almost certain that I don't want to do the latter, but just be a drug/alcohol/addiction counselor. How can I try and save a marriage when I don't believe in love, and don't think that the majority of people's relationships are worth saving considering that I lost the best one that ever happened to me? Not only did I lose my girlfriend of 3 years and won't even talk to me anymore, but I also lost my girlfriend of 2 years for pretty much no reason.
I guess that my sister got her lip pierced, and my dad is REALLY old fashioned. My sister is not only a lesbian, but she dresses all butch and stuff. My dad hates it so much. When my mom asked him if he'd rather have her dress like a slut like most girls, and he said yes. My sister is really punky, she likes bands like Green Day, Bad Religion, Good Charlotte and that whole pop-punk deal. Anyways, when my dad found out that she got her lip pierced she chased her out of the house calling her a freak. He always says stuff like that to and about me but I stopped caring. I guessed my sister was really upset about it and went crying to my mom at her work. My dad is ALWAYS mad and yelling about everything. He's mad at me because of the music I listen to, my gauged ear and my septum, he's mad at my brother because he's 18, lives at home, doesn't have a job, and never leaves the house, and he's mad at my sister because she doesn't dress like a typical girl, has short hair, is into punk and now she has her lip pierced. I kind understand how he's mad on some level. I guess we didn't live up to his expectations or whatever. Doesn't bother me at all, but it obviously bothers him a lot. Anyway my mom was saying how she's tired of putting up with him and him being a "loose cannon", and how he's tired of him calling us freaks. He actually said that he's ashamed that people know that we're his kids, that the day he met my mom was the worst day of his life, and that his inmates (he's a correctional officer) are better behaved and better dressed than us. Oh well.
Anything he says doesn't hurt me, and I really don't care. What bothers me is that my mom is being put through this. She is honestly such an angel and such a saint and doesn't deserve any of this so bad. She works so hard and she is so loving, caring, nice, and understanding of us. My dad on the other hand, is the complete opposite. My mom is one of the best people in my life, and I love her, she doesn't deserve to be put through this. She makes the same amount as I do, maybe a little more and she is willing to move out away from my dad and take me, my brother and my sister with her. I of course volunteered to move out to help her out and stuff, and she was crying telling me she didn't want me to move away. She's so caring and loving, I love her so much. So anyways, I came home today and she told me to not move in with Frank (I was planning to make the move this week) and that her and my dad were going to try and make things up. That would be the perfect thing to do, I just hope that they don't try and fake it and try and be happy for us, but that they do what is best for them.
I knew this fight was a long time coming. I didn't think it would ever actually happen though. I don't know, I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Not only did Michelle (who I went out with for 2 years) break up with me, but then my parents almost (if they don't) break up. I believe now that love is not real. Love is just a fairy tale that doesn't actually exist. It's just a myth, something that you may feel temporarily that exists for so little time that you may not as well fall for it. I hope that I never think that I fall in love again, because I can do it so easily and I fall so hard. Love is such a fucking lie, and it's such a shame that so many people fall for it and believe in it when it's such an obvious lie, such an obvious scam. Divorce rates are up to at least half now or something, how can someone say that love exists when they're breaking up when the person they MARRIED? Doesn't that word mean anything anymore? Marriage is as temporary in this society as love is, it comes and goes like the seasons. I used to want to be a drug/alcohol/addiction abuse counselor AND a family/marriage councelor, but now, I'm almost certain that I don't want to do the latter, but just be a drug/alcohol/addiction counselor. How can I try and save a marriage when I don't believe in love, and don't think that the majority of people's relationships are worth saving considering that I lost the best one that ever happened to me? Not only did I lose my girlfriend of 3 years and won't even talk to me anymore, but I also lost my girlfriend of 2 years for pretty much no reason.